


Spark

by g_odalisque13



Category: A Pink (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band), SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Character, Coming Out, Coming of Age, F/F, Fraternities & Sororities, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Character, Self-Acceptance, Sexuality Crisis, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 14:54:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5932363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/g_odalisque13/pseuds/g_odalisque13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chorong has been running from the truth her whole life. Maybe it’s time to stop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spark

**Author's Note:**

> Read on [LJ](http://g-odalisque13.livejournal.com/94170.html).

Chorong was of the belief that life ought to be fair, at least relatively so. It was something she tried to maintain as the president of Alpha Phi.

Sure, she wasn't above peeking at Nam Joo's cards when they occasionally had poker night at the sorority house, and she was guilty of pouting adorably when she wanted Bomi to get her something from the fridge and she didn't want to get up. But they bet chores (that Chorong would end up doing regardless of who won), not money, when they played cards, and Chorong was known to sneak Bomi snacks in her bedroom during finals even though they were supposed to keep all food in the kitchen.

It was give and take, and at the end of the day, Chorong liked to think that she did a fair job evening it out.

But it became very clear that there were some things she had no control over- some things that just weren't going to be fair no matter what she did.

And that realization came in the form of Jung Eunji.

 

\---

 

“Okay, calm down,” Chorong said, staring into wide, panicked eyes.

It was 11:53 PM on a Saturday night in mid-February, and Chorong found herself locked in the bathroom on the third floor of the sorority house with a couple drinks worth of alcohol making her head fuzzy and her breathing fast like she’d been running.

Technically, she _had_ just been running. Not far, but sprinting up a flight of stairs while panicking was tiring.

“You’re okay. It’s fine,” Chorong told herself, eyes desperately raking over her own face in the mirror. Her light brown hair was still curled loosely, her eye makeup shimmered under the unflattering bathroom lights, and her white dress was just as pretty as it had been when she’d picked it out the weekend prior. Aside from her slightly askew bangs and smudged pink lipstick, she looked the same as she had a couple of hours earlier when she’d descended from her room on the third floor to the living room as guests started to arrive to their party.

Nothing had changed. Except everything had changed. Or at least it felt like it had.

“It didn’t mean anything,” Chorong said emphatically, keeping eye contact with herself in the mirror.

All she had to do was reapply her lipstick and run her fingers through her hair, and it would be like it had never happened.

“You are the same person,” she told herself out loud. “It meant nothing. It changes nothing. You are freaking out for no reason. You just shouldn’t have had that second screwdriver, that’s all.”

Her hands were still trembling where they were gripping the sink, the black polish on her nails chipping slightly off the middle finger of her left hand from when she’d been trying to open a pack of pens the day before, but she was starting to calm down.

She was a little drunk and had made a mistake. That was all. People did stupid stuff when they were drunk all the time. It didn’t have to mean anything. All it meant was that she shouldn’t let Eunji push a second cocktail into her hand when she’d just downed her first one way too quickly.

Eunji.

Chorong’s eyes dropped from the mirror to the sink drain as she took a deep breath.

Somehow, laughing at Bomi and Nam Joo making idiots of themselves on the dancefloor with Eunji had turned into them stumbling up the stairs to look at something in Eunji’s room. And somehow that…

Fingers tightening on the basin sink, Chorong squeezed her eyes shut as though that would block out the memory of what had just happened.

One minute, she’d been ooh-ing and aah-ing over a pair of heels that Eunji had just gotten, and the next, they’d been flopped on Eunji’s bed, giggling into each other’s mouths and then-

Chorong exhaled noisily, squatting down where she was standing while keeping hold of the sink.

She was overreacting. It had just been a kiss.

...several kisses, really.

But that’s all.

They’d just been laughing together, and Chorong had been mesmerized by Eunji’s smile- the fault of the alcohol and the fact that Eunji really had one of the brightest smiles she’d ever seen. That wasn’t a weird thing to think. It was just a fact; common knowledge.

Anyway, she’d been staring at Eunji’s smile, and the next thing she knew, she’d been tasting it as they kissed- lips soft as they pressed and glided together. Eunji’s gloss had been slick, not sticky, and tasted of peppermint.

Chorong swore under her breath. She was not supposed to be reliving the moment and how Eunji’s hand had cradled the back of her head like she wanted to keep kissing her.

It didn’t matter what Eunji’s lipgloss tasted like or how Chorong had barely even realized what had been happening until she was slammed with the sudden realization. It didn’t matter because she was far enough past tipsy that she obviously had no idea what she was doing. Eunji was probably no better off. They had both been drinking and feeling silly and that was all.

In high school, two of Chorong’s friends had kissed during truth or dare. That didn’t make them gay. Just like this didn’t mean that Chorong was. Or Eunji was. It meant they’d gotten caught up in the moment and that was all.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Chorong repeated. Just because something happened didn’t mean it was significant. Sometimes a cigar was just a cigar. Or maybe this wasn’t the right context.

After realizing what was happening, Chorong had hastily excused herself, citing dehydration or something of the like.

She probably was dehydrated.

Part of her wondered if it had been rude to leave like she had, but Eunji had likely already forgotten that it had even happened. She’d probably already gone back downstairs to have fun since it hadn’t been a big deal. It hadn’t meant anything.

Chorong stood up and looked at herself in the mirror again. Smoothing down her bangs, she inhaled for seven seconds and then exhaled. Her lipstick was just smudged a little bit outside her lip line on the bottom. Easily rubbed away with a clean fingertip.

Chorong made eye contact with her reflection. Still the same girl as she’d been a few hours earlier. She was just being silly. Things like this happened all the time and no one thought anything of them.

It didn’t mean anything because Chorong was straight and that was that. It was so simple, really.

Chorong almost wanted to laugh at herself.

Hard liquor had never agreed with her. She needed to be more responsible. As the president of Alpha Phi, she needed to keep her wits, especially when they were hosting a party.

Speaking of, she should get back downstairs in case anyone needed anything.

Taking one last glance in the mirror before she flipped off the light, she straightened her shoulders. Same girl as she’d always been. There was nothing to worry about.

 

\---

 

Chorong moved the scrambled eggs around in the pan, ponytail falling forward over her shoulder and pajama pants swishing around her bare feet when she shuffled in place.

She was grateful that she hadn’t had so much to drink the night before that she felt sick, but she’d have preferred to not remember everything quite so clearly.

Nonetheless, it was what it was, and she needed to let it go. It didn’t need to change anything, so there was no use in dwelling.

“Morning!” Seungyeon greeted, bouncing into the kitchen with more vigor than anyone should really have before noon after a late night.

Na Eun eyed her disapprovingly from the table where she was massaging her temples and sipping from the glass of orange juice that Chorong had poured for her.

“I hate you,” Yujin weakly proclaimed when Seungyeon happily took the seat next to her at the kitchen island.

Chorong rarely drank very much when they had parties because she knew someone was going to have to take care of all the hungover girls in the morning. The underclassmen took turns being the sober sisters and watching out for the girls who chose to indulge, but Chorong suspected the girls would starve to death the next day if she wasn’t there to nudge waters and crackers into the hands of the girls who had indulged entirely too much.

“I’m ill,” Bomi announced as she entered the room with Eunji right behind her.

Chorong felt a jolt of anxiety move through her at the appearance of Eunji, but she just had to behave normally, that was all. And Bomi’s presence gave her something else to focus on.

“I tried to get you drink a bottle of water before you went to bed last night,” Chorong pointed out, turning off the stove and pouring Bomi a glass of juice.

With her head cradled in her hands and her blonde hair a mess, she did look a bit worse for wear, so Chorong pressed a cool hand to Bomi’s temple and stood there for a minute before moving away to finish breakfast.

“Good morning,” Eunji greeted her, the only one to forgo plopping down in a seat to help Chorong get breakfast ready.

“Morning,” Chorong replied, shooting Eunji a quick smile like she would any other day before hastily turning away to hide her heated cheeks.

“I can’t even remember anything after that fifth drink,” Bomi whined, head now pillowed on her arms and voice muffled.

Chorong felt a ridiculous stab of jealousy because while Bomi might have gotten on the coffee table and dirty danced to Demi Lovato, at least she didn’t _remember_ it.

“Don’t worry,” Nam Joo was saying, having joined them to scoot in next to Bomi. “I have plenty of pictures on my phone.”

Bomi groaned in response.

When Chorong turned around to get another plate for Nam Joo, she was met with Eunji looking at her like she wanted to say something.

“I had a bit too much to drink last night, too,” she blurted out, panic sweeping through her and making her toes numb as she busied herself with rooting around in the fridge for nothing in particular. “Last night is a little bit hazy.”

A lie. But it was that, or face Eunji and what they’d done. What they’d almost done.

“ _Please_ tell me you remember Bomi’s strip tease,” Nam Joo begged, eyes sparkling wickedly.

Chorong let out a snort, still trying to get her heart to calm down. “Yes, I do remember that.”

Bomi whined again, and Chorong beelined for the stove to start dishing up the eggs. She didn’t know if Eunji was still watching her, but the back of her neck prickled with just Eunji’s proximity.

“Well look who’s here,” Seungyeon crowed, probably much too loud for any of the girls who were in pain. “How was your date last night?”

Chorong turned around to see Irene, pink cheeked from the cold, taking off her winter coat to drape it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said primly, ignoring the suggestive comments that Seungyeon and Nam Joo were both making by then. Though the smile that didn’t leave her face led Chorong to believe that the date had gone pretty well, even if she had been very tight-lipped about whomever she was seeing.

“I saw the car you got picked up in,” Na Eun interjected, still looking miserable, but apparently wanting to join in on the fun. “Mercedes? What did you say he does for a living?”

“I didn’t,” Irene said airily, lips still turned up at the corners.

“Want some eggs?” Chorong asked before the girls could go overboard with their teasing.

She slid a plate in front of Bomi and nudged her gently to get her to sit up to eat.

Bomi opened her eyes and blanched. “She can have mine,” she said tightly before briskly walking toward the bathroom.

“So, I guess I just missed the usual last night,” Irene said conversationally.

Chorong had checked to see if Eunji was looking at her still, and she wasn’t, but her neck and ears were burning anyway.

“Yep,” she said lightly, putting a plate down in front of Yujin. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”

 

\---

 

_“What’s going on?” Chorong asked as she passed through the second floor hallway on her way to the kitchen and saw Nam Joo and Hayoung standing outside one of the bathrooms, Nam Joo’s ear to the closed door._

_“Eunji’s sick,” Hayoung told her, and Nam Joo rapped against the wood lightly with her knuckles._

_“Honey, you okay in there?”_

_The night before, they’d celebrated Eunji’s birthday, and Nam Joo and Bomi had been like two little devils on Eunji’s shoulders encouraging her to have_ just one more _._

_Nam Joo stepped away from the door when there was retching from inside, and Chorong frowned._

_“Has she had any water?” Chorong asked, throwing a concerned, sidelong glance at the door._

_Nam Joo shrugged. “She’s been in the bathroom since before I even woke up. She came back to the room for a minute, but then she ran right back.”_

_“Okay, I’m gonna go get a glass of water. One of you guys stay here,” Chorong instructed, going down to the kitchen to get water and soda crackers._

_“Where are you going?” Bomi asked when Chorong went to leave the room instead of sitting down to eat breakfast._

_“Eunji’s sick,” Chorong told her. “And it’s no wonder since you and Nam Joo were pouring drinks into her all night.”_

_Bomi had the decency to look sheepish._

_For the rest of the morning, Chorong sent the girls who usually used the bathroom Eunji was holed up in to a different one, and she finally got Eunji to eat a few crackers around lunch time._

_“You don’t take care of me like that when I’m hungover,” Bomi complained when Chorong finally came back downstairs after Eunji had crawled into her bed for a nap._

_“That’s not true,” Chorong said with a roll of her eyes, flicking Bomi’s ponytail with the cracker box on her way to put it away. “Besides, you get drunk on your own volition without anyone being a bad influence.”_

_Bomi stuck out her tongue as Chorong started to make herself some lunch._

_Eunji bought Chorong a coffee the next day for taking such good care of her, but Chorong was just happy to see Eunji back to her usual, cheerful self._

_And Eunji never let herself get coerced into drinking so much again._

 

\---

 

Everything carried on as normal despite Chorong feeling like something awful was bound to happen in the wake of her drunken misstep- like the repercussions were going to jump out of a closet with a scary mask on and send Chorong careening backwards in fear.

But nothing happened.

She got up, went to class, wrote her papers, watched bizarre indie films with Bomi, and smiled at Eunji when she passed her in the hall. It was like the incident had never even happened.

After Chorong stopped worrying about Eunji bringing it up to her, she started to worry that Eunji would tell someone else. What if that person wanted to talk about it with her? What if they thought she was gay and looked at her differently? What if they told someone else who told someone else who told someone else and _everyone_ thought she was gay?

But when a week and a half had passed and no one had said anything to her or looked at her strangely, Chorong let herself believe that maybe nothing bad was going to happen. Maybe Eunji was just as eager to pretend it hadn’t happened as she was.

Eunji didn’t look any different. Not that Chorong could logically say why she thought she might. But she still found herself studying the other girl like something about her appearance might give away what they’d done. Same big smile, same straight teeth, same friendly eyes-

Did she think about it? Did she remember every little thing? Was she worried that Chorong was going to talk to her about it? Or tell someone? Was she worried what people would think? Was she worried what Chorong would think?

Laughing at something Irene had said, Eunji didn’t look like she was dwelling and anxious.

But there was nothing to be anxious about, since it didn’t mean anything, Chorong reminded herself as she continuously had to. Eunji probably looked so carefree because she _knew_ it meant nothing- that it was just something that had happened- so she wasn’t worried.

Or maybe-

“-rong? Yo. Anybody in there?”

Chorong blinked, pulling her gaze away from Eunji’s profile to look at Nam Joo who was staring at her like she was insane.

“Sorry, what?” Chorong asked sheepishly. Sorority meetings really weren’t the place to be inwardly agonizing. Though she hadn’t been being very selective about where she was agonizing, lately.

Nam Joo sighed. “The boys in Phi Tau want our team mascot to be a honey badger for the Spring Sing.”

Chorong frowned. “ _Why_? Isn’t it supposed to be music related?”

“ _Because honey badger don’t care_ ,” Irene read primly off her phone, lips quirking. “Should I tell them we’re vetoing?”

“Maybe we can compromise,” Chorong tried. “Like...honey badger bass...clef…we should veto.”

Irene snorted and typed something on her phone.

“I dunno. I think honey badger bass clef is awfully original,” Eunji teased, eyes laughing when she looked at Chorong.

Chorong flushed and quickly looked down at her notes...that didn’t exist because she’d been zoning out.

“Vetoed,” Irene announced proudly. “Honey badger bass clef can be our backup or something.”

Nam Joo rolled her eyes. “Wonderful.”

 

\---

 

Hot. It was so, so hot. Chorong was sweating and she felt like she couldn't get a breath in. But she wasn't trying to extract herself from the heat surrounding her- she was trying to push herself closer.

Fingers trailing across her chest, sliding over her stomach.

Chorong's breath stuttered. She needed so much. If she didn't get some relief in the next few seconds, she was going to cry.

Her body was throbbing, legs spreading in a silent plea for more.

A smile was pressed against her skin, a quiet laugh huffed over her pulse point.

“Please,” she gasped, hips twitching. Her nerves were already singing. Just a touch could set her off, she was sure. She was so worked up already. “ _Eunji_!”

Eunji hummed against her skin, lifting her head to press a kiss to Chorong’s lips as her fingers crept toward her core.

Almost, just a little-

Chorong gasped herself awake, instinctively bringing a hand down to cup between her legs. She was throbbing and she could feel the wet of her panties against her palm.

Taking a moment to catch her breath, Chorong tried to ground herself. She was in her bed, it was the middle of the night. She hadn't really been about to be brought off by someone else's hands. And though she was tempted to get herself off quickly, Bomi was right across the room. Besides, she had to be up early for class. She should just try to calm down and get back to sleep so she wasn't dead in the morning.

Extracting her hand from between her legs, Chorong tried to ignore the way her body was still pulsing.

Deep breath in, let it out.

Chorong relaxed against her pillow, feeling sleep start to creep up on her again. Maybe she'd just save the memories of that dream and think about it the next time she had time and privacy.

Soft fingers, gentle mouth, smiling eyes-

Suddenly wide awake, Chorong stared unseeingly at the murky, dark ceiling. Those eyes.

What was her subconscious doing? Dreaming of Eunji like _that_? Consciously, she'd never…

Eunji was the last person she'd kissed. It was a fact. Whether Chorong liked it or not, there was no denying it. So, her subconscious must have just latched onto that.

Moreover, Chorong hadn't actually dated anyone in nearly a year. No wonder her subconscious was so confused! How was it supposed to know what was going on when she hadn't dated a guy in eleven months and then kissed Eunji?

Maybe this was a sign. Maybe it was her subconscious’ way of telling her it had been far too long since she'd dated anyone.

Yes, that had to be it. She just needed to date a guy, that's all.

She'd been so busy with schoolwork and the sorority that she hadn't even had the presence of mind to notice guys. She'd have to make an effort.

Starting tomorrow, she was on the market.

And then, surely, she wouldn't be having anymore dreams like that.

Resolve strong, Chorong rolled over and shut her eyes- thighs squeezed tight until she fell asleep.

 

\---

 

_“Why are people so stupid?” Eunji exclaimed, letting herself into the sorority house and dropping her bag next to the couch before falling onto it._

_Chorong looked up from the book she was reading._

_“I thought you had Ethics on Tuesdays?”_

_Eunji, despite her obvious aggravation, snorted out a laugh._

_“I do. I just overheard the most infuriating conversation in my teaching young learners class. That had nothing to do with the class, mind you.”_

_“Okay…” Chorong chuckled, quirking a brow. She knew Eunji would explain what had gotten her so worked up in due time; she always did. Her passionate nature wouldn’t let her hold onto anything that affected her so much for long._

_At first glance, it might appear that of the two of them, Eunji was the one whose feathers were hard to ruffle, while Chorong was the one more likely to get easily perturbed. And about some things, maybe that was true._

_But it was Eunji who ended up pacing through the sorority house, ranting about some injustice she'd seen done that day, or about the ignorance of some of their classmates. It was during those times that Chorong would lend and ear if she was around, and do her best to just let Eunji work it all out of her system before she'd try to offer some words of encouragement, and maybe a snack. Honestly, she always felt like her assurances that people would learn and that there was hope for humanity, were kind of weak and probably useless. But Eunji told her over and over that she always made her feel better._

_It was something that had Chorong smiling when she thought about it. She liked being the person Eunji wanted to come to when she was upset. She liked being able to help._

_Chorong could see the frustration in Eunji’s posture and all over her face- the way her hands kept flexing and her eyebrows were pinched tightly in the middle._

_“I don’t even know why, but they were talking about people being bisexual and basically saying that bisexuality doesn’t exist, and anyone claiming to be bi just can’t make up their mind.”_

_“That is absolutely idiotic,” Chorong agreed, and the tension seemed to drain from Eunji’s body as though she’d been expecting Chorong to disagree._

_Chorong couldn’t ever remember a time when Eunji had complained to her about the ignorance and closed mindedness in the world when she’d disagreed. Eunji might have been more likely to be up in arms about something like this, but she was always right._

_“And then they were saying how people who identify as bisexual can’t fight for gay rights as though they’re directly affected by them,” Eunji went on, hands gesturing emphatically. “_ What _? That makes absolutely no sense!”_

_“It doesn’t,” Chorong confirmed. “I mean, if someone is bisexual and falls in love with someone of the same gender as them, then they’re obviously going to be as affected by gay rights as someone who only likes people of the same gender, right?”_

_“Exactly!” Eunji exulted, throwing her hands in the air. “And then they’ve got people like these idiots that they have to deal with.”_

_Chorong shook her head sympathetically. It was such a shame people could be so judgmental. But for as hopeless as they made humanity seem, Eunji’s passion for equality and the fair treatment of everyone regardless of sexuality, gender, race, or anything else, reminded Chorong that there were great people out there too._

_“Why were they even talking about that?” Chorong asked._

_“I have no clue,” Eunji sighed, collapsing back against the cushions and taking a deep breath. “Thanks for listening. I was seething through that whole class.”_

_Chorong squeezed Eunji’s knee. “No problem. I’m impressed you didn’t take out all that frustration on them in the middle of class!”_

_Eunji laughed, looking much less perturbed than she had when she’d come in the door._

_“I should bring you with me next time. You’re the black belt. If they say anything else dumb, I’ll just let you take care of them.”_

_Grinning, Chorong put her hands on her hips like a superhero._

_“Is that a black belt pose?” Eunji teased, and Chorong stuck her tongue out, but she was just happy to see Eunji happy and smiling again._

_She really couldn’t say what it was that she did that made Eunji feel better, but Eunji had squeezed in next to her on the love seat during a party once, both of them a few drinks in, and declared that Chorong was the water to her fire- cheek pressed against Chorong's and arms thrown comfortably around her shoulders._

_Chorong's cheek had felt unnaturally warm for the rest of the night._

 

\---

 

Day one of keeping her eyes peeled for a date had been a bust. But as Chorong walked into her speech class the following day, she felt like she was having an epiphany.

Right there, seated in the second row, was Choi Minho.

Why hadn't she thought of him sooner?

He was perfect. Friendly, handsome, a good student, star of the soccer team. And best of all, he and Chorong were already familiar since they'd taken a history class together the previous semester and had been partners for the midterm project.

Chorong considered sitting elsewhere and taking the time to come up with a game plan, but there was no time like the present! So with remnants of her dream still sticky in her mind, Chorong purposefully sat down in the empty chair next to Minho.

To casually chat with Minho before class wasn't unusual, but it was with a new sense of purpose that Chorong struck up a conversation.

“I swear, it wasn't my idea to make the mascot the honey badger!” Minho insisted as he put his notebook in his leather messenger bag after class. “I honestly don't know who came up with that.”

“Sure, sure,” Chorong teased, surprisingly not nervous about what she was gearing up for. “Do you have class after this?”

“Nope,” Minho grinned. “I don’t have anything until soccer practice at four.”

“Do you want to go get coffee or something?”

Minho’s already big eyes bulged almost comically. “Really? Yeah, that sounds great!”

Chorong laughed at his surprise, feeling some of the panic she’d been carrying around since the Eunji incident start to dissipate.

 

\---

 

Walking back into the sorority house after coffee with Minho, Chorong felt lighter than she had in what felt like forever. All she’d needed was to get out and go on a date. It certainly had been long enough.

And coffee with Minho had been so much fun. They’d talked about Spring Sing and how neither of them were going to be in the small group to actually compete. They’d talked about Minho’s roommate in the fraternity house and how Minho was constantly woken up at odd hours because his roommate apparently never slept. They’d talked about the soccer team, their biggest blow off classes, and they’d avidly watched a showdown between two cars vying for the same parking spot out the window, cheering when the car that had gotten there first won out.

It had been so easy and fun that Chorong couldn’t fathom how she’d gotten herself so worked up about some silly dream.

When she and Minho had made plans to get dinner later in the week, Minho had confessed why he’d been so surprised when Chorong had asked him to coffee.

“I honestly thought you just weren’t interested,” he’d said on an embarrassed chuckle. “I kinda gave up when you didn’t seem to respond to my...flirting, I guess.”

Minho’s cheeks had been flushed, but he’d been grinning- clearly happy that Chorong _did_ appear to be interested.

And why _wouldn’t_ she be interested? She’d said as much, and Minho’s blush had darkened even as he’d laughed.

He was _such_ a charming and genuine guy. Chorong smiled to herself as she stepped out of her shoes and headed to the kitchen to get bottle of water. Maybe that dream had been a good thing after all. If she hadn’t had the push, she probably would never have even thought of asking Minho out to coffee. And she was so glad that she had.

Eunji was at the sink with her back to Chorong when she entered the kitchen, ponytail bobbing as she moved to the beat of the song she was quietly singing. Even sort of under her breath, Eunji sounded amazing. They were going to win Spring Sing for sure.

“Need any help?” Chorong asked, and Eunji startled, singing stopping as she turned away from the dishes.

A day ago, Chorong probably would have tried to be quiet as she got her water in the hope that Eunji wouldn't notice her. But today was a new day, and the dread and panic that Chorong had been feeling when she saw Eunji was replaced with the happiness and warmth she'd always felt in Eunji’s presence before the whole incident.

It felt good to be back to normal.

Eunji seemed startled to see her standing there, but then her face broke out into a grin and Chorong found herself smiling in return.

“I'm almost done, but you can dry these last couple things, if you want.

Chorong nodded, rolling up her sleeves and joining Eunji at the sink.

“Practicing for Spring Sing?” Chorong asked, taking the pan Eunji was holding out and starting to dry it.

“No,” Eunji chuckled. “Just entertaining myself.”

“How are your classes going?”

Since she’d been acting insane and avoiding Eunji, Chorong hadn’t properly talked to her in two weeks. She’d heard a little bit about what was going on with her when there were a bunch of them in the same room, but it wasn’t the same as hearing it said directly to her.

“Did you ever have Professor Park for persuasive writing?”

Chorong shook her head.

Eunji groaned. “For our final, we have to write a paper arguing something that has never been said before.”

“Wait, what?”

“I know! I’m pretty sure there isn’t much left that no one has ever said,” Eunji griped, shaking her head and scrubbing diligently at some caked on grease.

“I’m sure there are some things,” Chorong allowed. “But I’d imagine there’s a reason that no one has made those arguments.”

Eunji nodded emphatically as she turned off the water and handed Chorong the last dish. “That’s what I’m saying! Even if-”

“You’re alive!” Bomi trilled, sliding into the kitchen on socked feet. “Didn’t your class end two hours ago?”

Chorong snorted. “What did you need me for?”

“Nothing,” Bomi shrugged. “Just bored. I was gonna ask if you wanted to watch something.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be doing research for a project today?”

“She hasn’t started,” Eunji conspiratorially told Chorong in a loud whisper

Bomi whined, laying her upper half on the counter. “I can do it later. Where were you anyway?”

“I went to get coffee,” Chorong said, putting the cookie sheet she’d been drying back in the cabinet it belonged in.

“Why didn’t you invite me?” Bomi complained. “I would’ve come!”

“Stop procrastinating,” Chorong laughed, swatting at Bomi’s butt on the way to the fridge. “And anyway, it was kind of a date thing, I think?”

Bomi’s eyes went wide. “A date? With who? I didn’t even know you liked anyone! Who?!”

“Minho,” Chorong told her, casually grabbing a water from the fridge, and not looking at Eunji. Because she didn’t want Eunji to think she was checking for a reaction when she wasn’t. Not that Eunji even had anything to react to. She probably didn’t care, and that was fine.

“As in Choi Minho?” Bomi asked, looking confused.

“Yeah? Is there another Minho I should be aware of?” Chorong joked.

“I just didn’t think you were into him, that’s all,” Bomi replied with a shrug, hopping up to sit on the counter.

“Why wouldn’t I like him?” Chorong chuckled. “Isn’t he the kind of guy all girls like?”

Bomi was looking at her like she was speaking French. “You’d just mentioned him before, and you didn’t seem like you liked him that way. And I don’t know about all girls. I personally like my guys a bit more...alternative.”

Chorong snorted, screwing the cap back on her bottle. “Fine, _most_ girls.”

At that point, it seemed natural to turn to Eunji to get her take, but when Chorong looked over by the sink, Eunji was gone. Apparently she’d left at some point during the conversation. But that was fine. It wasn’t like she needed to be there to hear about Chorong’s dating life.

“So, was it fun?” Bomi wanted to know, pulling Chorong’s attention back to her where she was perched on the counter and swinging her feet so her heels hit against the cabinets.

Chorong grabbed one of Bomi’s ankles to get her to stop.

“It was,” she told her with a grin, grabbing the other foot as well when Bomi kept swinging it in an act of rebellion. “It was really fun.”

“I’m glad,” Bomi said with a grin before pulling her feet away and sticking her toes in Chorong’s face.

There was no more discussion of Minho since Chorong naturally had to give chase in order to exact her revenge.

 

\---

 

_“Are you...dancing and eating?” Chorong asked, walking into the kitchen for a mid-afternoon snack and finding Eunji standing at the counter- swaying and chewing._

_Laughing behind her hand, Eunji nodded and swallowed before speaking._

_“I got this cheesecake from the cafe across the street, and it’s so delicious!”_

_“So delicious that it makes you want to dance?” Chorong teased, joining Eunji at the counter to see the cheesecake in question._

_It_ did _look pretty good._

_“Yes,” Eunji confirmed with a grin. “Want to try it?”_

_“Am I required to dance if I do?”_

_“Only if it moves you,” Eunji told her, eyes sparkling._

_Chorong snorted out a laugh, starting for the silverware drawer to get a clean fork._

_“You can just have a bite, it’s fine,” Eunji said, stopping her with a hand on her shoulder._

_Turning back, Chorong was met with Eunji holding out a forkful of cake. She tried to take it from Eunji, but Eunji held it out of her reach._

_Going along, Chorong leaned her elbows on the counter and opened her mouth, waiting for her bite._

_Eunji giggled and placed gentle fingers on her jaw to keep her still as she fed her the cheesecake. Closing her lips around the fork, Chorong watched Eunji’s face- eyes focused on her and a light smile pulling at her lips._

_Sweet and creamy, the cheesecake was as good as Eunji promised, but Chorong’s heart was beating too fast for some reason- stomach fluttering before she’d even swallowed._

_But she couldn’t just sit with the feeling, heady as it was, because Eunji was watching her, waiting for a reaction._

_“It_ is _really good,” she said, ignoring the way it felt like her heart was in her throat._

_Eunji beamed. “Good enough to dance?”_

_With that, she took another bite herself and started swaying again- adding in some arm movements when Chorong didn’t immediately join in._

_Dancing probably wouldn’t have been her natural instinct at that moment, but Eunji’s happiness was infectious, so she found herself bopping along to a song that neither of them could hear, but both of them could obviously feel since they somehow seemed to be moving to the same beat- laughing and making up dance moves as they went._

_“What the hell are you guys doing?” Nam Joo asked, walking past them to get a can of pop from the fridge._

_“Eating cheesecake,” Eunji told her casually, and Chorong giggled._

_“You guys are nuts,” Nam Joo observed, grabbing a second can and holding it out for Joy who moseyed in behind her._

_“I’ve been saying this,” Joy insisted, taking the can and cracking it open._

_Chorong shared a smile with Eunji. It felt nice to be in on the joke with her. Even if it meant they were both insane._

 

\---

 

“How was the date?” Hayoung sing-songed the moment Chorong stepped foot in the door, Na Eun leaning forward to waggle her eyebrows in Chorong’s direction.

Chorong had indeed just come from a date with Minho. Their fifth date. Or something like that.

“Were you guys just waiting for me to get home so you could bug me?” Chorong asked, laughing at the innocent faces that were immediately thrown her way.

“You _are_ fun to tease,” Hayoung admitted.

“Not as much fun as Irene, though,” Na Eun added. “But that’s just because she comes home after being gone for two nights looking like she’s ready to sing a song with a cast of forest animals.”

“I didn’t know forest animals sang about having great sex,” Hayoung cracked, and Na Eun snorted.

“You guys are ridiculous,” Chorong told them fondly, sitting down to untie her boots.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get there,” Na Eun assured her with a knowing smile.

“Get where? To your level of crazy?”

“ _No_ ,” Na Eun laughed. “You’ll get to where you look ready to burst into song, too. After staying over at Minho’s.”

Hayoung wolf whistled for effect.

Chorong huffed out an uncomfortable laugh. It wasn't like she was a virgin. And dates with Minho where they could talk and laugh were so much fun, but she hadn’t quite thought that far ahead…

“Will I be as fun as Irene to tease, then?” she asked, hoping to mask her discomfort.

“Nah, she’ll still be more fun since she has some mystery suitor none of us has ever met,” Na Eun informed her. “But you’ll be a close second.”

“Gee, thanks,” Chorong joked, getting up and hoping to escape before they could talk anymore about her non-existent sex life.

“Oh! Speaking of Minho!” Hayoung exclaimed, snapping her fingers. “Did you hear about Taemin?”

“So, not actually speaking of Minho,” Na Eun laughed.

“They’re friends. Whatever. It made me think of it,” Hayoung said with a wave of her hand. “Anyway, apparently Taemin hooked up with some dude at a party last weekend?”

“A dude as in...a guy? A male?” Na Eun asked, eyes wide.

Hayoung nodded dramatically.

Chorong felt her stomach drop.

Not because she cared about what Taemin did on the weekends or because she had any problem with people being gay, but…

The fact that people would be gossiping like this about _her_ had anyone gotten wind of her and Eunji kissing made her feel sick to her stomach.

She should probably just leave the room so she could stop imagining that they were talking about her, but she felt like her feet were rooted to the floor- misplaced adrenaline shooting through her veins and nearly paralyzing her.

“So Taemin is gay?” Na Eun asked, eyes still wide with intrigue.

Hayoung shrugged. “Bi, maybe? I dunno. But I guess he likes dudes, because from what I hear, it was _not_ just kissing. They _hooked up_.”

“Taemin can hook up with whomever he wants to,” Eunji said as she breezed through the living room on her way to the kitchen.

“I know,” Hayoung defended, looking a little put out that anyone would think that she felt otherwise. “It’s just interesting.”

“Well, it’s no one’s business but his own,” Eunji declared, glancing over at Chorong who quickly looked down at her phone like she’d gotten a text.

“His, and whomever he’s hooking up with,” Na Eun added with a giggle.

Hayoung said something else, but Chorong wasn’t listening anymore as she stared at the home screen of her phone with unseeing eyes. What had that look meant? Had it been an assurance that Eunji wasn’t going to tell anyone about what had happened between them? Did she think Chorong was going to and she was subtly warning her not to? Was she looking for Chorong to jump in and agree with her? Which she did. But she couldn’t exactly say so without it seeming like she was also commentating on her and Eunji kissing.

Or maybe Eunji had already forgotten about it, and Chorong was overthinking everything.

No, she hadn’t forgotten. Chorong was pretty sure of that. First of all, Eunji definitely had not been drunk enough for that. And that look...it meant _something_. Even if it hadn’t been conscious, Eunji had looked _right at her_ while talking about a situation that was similar to what had happened between them. Eunji remembered and she was thinking about it.

Somehow, the fact that it might have been replaying in Eunji’s head right that very second had Chorong’s cheeks going hot.

She had to get out of there.

“Is Bomi upstairs?” she blurted out to no one in particular. And then without waiting for an answer, Chorong turned on her heel and took the stairs two at a time.

It might not have been the most delicate retreat, but Chorong couldn’t stand in the same room with Eunji when she was thinking about their kiss. Especially if she suspected that Eunji was thinking about it too. That made it much too real.

Bomi was not upstairs, it turned out, but that didn’t matter.

Chorong flopped onto her bed face first and squeezed her eyes shut.

Someday, she wouldn’t be haunted by thoughts of that night. Someday, she’d be able to fully block those memories from her mind.

Until then...she just had to take it one day at a time.

 

\---

 

_“Who’s still up here?” Chorong called from her room, fingers fumbling with the zip of her dress. No matter which way she turned, she couldn't quite get it fastened._

_That night was the first formal of the school year, and Chorong was in love with her dress- short,_ short _gathered skirt, high neckline, and long, sheer sleeves._

_If only she could get it zipped._

_“I am, but I'm leaving now,” Nam Joo answered on her way past Chorong’s partially open door. “Peace, motherfucker.”_

_“Thanks!” Chorong called back sarcastically. “Way to be entirely useless!”_

_“Anytime, babe!” Nam Joo yelled from the stairs._

_Chorong snorted. She was more amused than annoyed, but she still needed help with her dress._

_“I'm here,” Eunji said, slipping into her room with a grin._

_“Thank goodness!” Chorong exulted, turning around to show the how her dress was gaping in the back. “Can you help me?”_

_“Of course,” Eunji said on a laugh, stepping up behind Chorong close enough that Chorong could feel her body heat._

_“I've been struggling with it for five minutes,” Chorong babbled, stilling when she felt Eunji’s hands on her dress- one holding the fabric still and the other tugging gently at the zipper._

_“Can't have you making a grand entrance with the back of your dress open,” Eunji teased, smile evident in her voice._

_Chorong laughed, not quite breathing properly, which was dumb since she didn't need to make her waist smaller to get the dress to fit._

_“There you go,” Eunji said, smoothing a hand down the fastened zipper._

_“Thank you,” Chorong told her, turning back around after remaining still for a beat more than was necessary._

_Eunji’s smile was warm when she looked at her._

_“No problem,” she said brightly. “Find me after if you have as much trouble getting it unzipped.”_

_“Will do,” Chorong laughed before thinking of all the ways that could be taken. Not that Eunji had meant it that way._

_After the formal, Chorong had had half a mind to track down Eunji specifically just to be funny, but Bomi had been right there, so she couldn't really justify wandering around just to take Eunji up on her offer. That would have been ridiculous._

_Besides, Eunji had surely forgotten all about it by then._

 

\---

 

By the time Alpha Phi held their next party, Chorong and Minho had been dating for a month, and Chorong was looking forward to showing him off.

It felt good to have Minho by her side as she mingled, accepting a drink from Nam Joo, and laughing at Bomi’s outlandish dance moves.

However, Chorong’s enjoyment was stunted by the fact that Eunji seemed to be on the other side of the room from where she was no matter how much she moved around.

Chorong tried to tell herself it didn't matter- it was probably just a coincidence. But the more it happened and the more drinks Chorong downed, the more frustrated she got.

Why would Eunji be avoiding her? Things had been relatively normal between them for the past couple weeks. There was no good reason for Eunji to suddenly be avoiding her now.

Plus, she felt like there was something significant about being able to talk with Eunji with her hand clasped in Minho’s. It seemed symbolic. It seemed like closure. Like she would be able to finally feel like this was it, this was how things were supposed to be. Everything from up until then wasn't important except for the fact that it had all led her to here- dating Minho and able to talk freely with Eunji without feeling like there was something unspoken simmering under the surface.

Except she couldn't get that closure she was seeking because Eunji kept slipping through her grasp.

“Let's go over here,” Chorong suggested when the song changed and Jonghyun had stopped doing his Ariana Grande impression.

Minho looked at her questioningly.

“I want another drink,” Chorong supplied, pulling him by the hand in the direction of their makeshift bar...and Eunji.

She really did want another drink. The longer Eunji evaded her, the more her stomach was twisting uncomfortably and the alcohol was helping her calm her nerves.

After getting another cocktail from Nam Joo, the bartender for the night, Chorong turned to Minho and pulled him down for a kiss.

They hadn't gotten physical beyond a few prolonged kisses after their dates, but there was an impatience rolling through her that night.

Hands hooked behind Minho’s neck and her lips on his, Chorong opened and eye to peek over his shoulder to see if Eunji was still there or if she was acting like they were two North magnets.

The group that Eunji had been chatting with was still there, but she was gone.

Chorong pulled back with a sigh. Eunji was making it very hard for her to get her closure.

Glancing around, Chorong spotted Eunji over by the stairs, laughing with Bomi.

Well, that was fine. She didn't need her to make her peace with everything.

Downing the rest of her drink and smiling at the way it had her head feeling light, Chorong pulled Minho toward the stairs. Not to go after Eunji this time.

In fact, Chorong walked right past her without a second glance, heading straight up the stairs with Minho in tow.

“Where are we going?” Minho asked, chuckling, but obediently following anyway.

“My room,” Chorong told him, leading him all the way up to the third floor.

When they were inside with the door shut, Chorong grinned. She was feeling bold. Whether it was the alcohol or her quest for closure, she didn't know. But she was suddenly dead set on having sex with Minho. Tonight.

She was pretty sure Bomi had condoms stashed in their room somewhere...they’d deal with that when they needed to. First…

Chorong backed Minho against the closed door, kissing him deeper than before- deeper than she’d ever kissed him. Before they’d been kisses to say hello or goodbye with a few scattered between the two for good measure. But this was kissing with a purpose.

When Chorong had been a freshman in college, she’d had a boyfriend for seven months. Naturally, there had been quite a bit of kissing within that time, as well as all the other things one was supposed to do with their significant other.

At the time, it had all seemed exciting and new. He’d been Chorong’s first real relationship, and she’d been feeling like such an adult with her college career and brand new sex life.

After they’d broken up due to their busy schedules and the fact that they were both more into the idea of each other than the real thing, Chorong hadn’t gone out of her way to date anyone else or have sex. Because she’d already experienced all there was to experience. There had been a few dates here and there, but nothing that had kept Chorong’s interest.

So it was probably good that she was getting back in the game. This was just what she needed.

Angling her head to deepen the kiss, she stood on her tippy toes to lean up against Minho’s front.

Chorong could imagine what they must have looked like right them- like something out of a college rom com. The thought made her smile.

She’d walk him to the bed and push him so he sat down. Then she’d crawl into his lap and he’d brush her hair from her face. They’d share meaningful eye contact and then start to kiss again in earnest. Chorong would raise up on her knees and brace herself on his shoulders before pulling back to pull her dress over her head. He’d smile and she’d press her lips to his, shivering sexily as he grasped at her bare waist. His hands would slide up her back to unhook the clasp of her bra and she’d-

“We shouldn’t do this now,” Minho said, breathless when he broke away from the kiss- leaning back against the closed bedroom door.

Chorong frowned. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. She was supposed to be seductively guiding him to her bed right now, not standing there with mussed hair that felt a lot more messy than sexy. She didn’t feel like that confident, sensual girl she’d imagined herself being. She just felt confused and frustrated and drunk.

“Why not?” Chorong asked, knowing it came out a little like a whine, but too disheartened to care.

“Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather have our first time be when you’re sober,” Minho told her, lips curving up in a way that didn’t even allow her to be mad at him. Which was a problem because she was mad and she didn’t know whom to be mad at.

“I’m not that drunk,” she tried, but knew it was a lie even as she spoke. The room was kind of spinning around them, and Chorong was having a lot of difficulty focusing on Minho’s face and staying balanced at the same time.

Minho raised his eyebrows like he knew she knew better.

Chorong sighed.

“You should get some sleep,” Minho told her gently, patting down her hair where it must have been sticking up.

“I’ll walk you out,” Chorong regretfully agreed, tipping a little as she moved to open the door.

The trip down the stairs felt like the walk of shame even though it was midnight and they hadn’t even done anything.

“Text me when you wake up, okay?” Minho said when they were at the front door.

Chorong nodded and accepted the chaste kiss he pressed to her lips.

With a smile and a wave, Minho let himself out, and Chorong felt resigned. This evening hadn’t gone how she’d wanted it to at all.

Watching a few party-goers wander through the entryway laughing, Chorong felt her misplaced anger surge up again. It was so unfair that her night had to end like this when everyone else was having a great time! She still couldn’t be mad at Minho since he hadn’t done anything aside from be a decent human being.

Eunji, however…

When she really thought about it, it was Eunji’s fault that her evening had been such a bust. If Eunji hadn’t been avoiding her all night, then Chorong wouldn’t have gotten so drunk. And if she hadn’t been so drunk, then she’d be upstairs having sex with her boyfriend instead of standing there alone, feeling like an idiot.

Chorong was supposed to be making a point and having sex with her _boy_ friend, but Eunji had somehow managed to foil all of her plans.

The alcohol from her last drink was still hitting her, so Chorong was fairly certain that she was drunker now than she’d been when she was upstairs with Minho, but she could still feel her frustration as potent as ever. With a burst of energy, Chorong went back into the thick of the party, eyes peeled for Eunji as she weaved between groups of drunken, dancing people.

Na Eun tried to beckon her over at one point, but Chorong waved her off. She was on a mission. If she didn’t find Eunji in the next five minutes, she would go to bed like Minho said. But she felt like she would explode if she didn’t say everything that was bubbling up inside her and making her want to scream.

On her way through the entryway to the kitchen, Chorong finally spotted her- sparkly dress on with dark tights, chocolate brown hair pulled up in a high ponytail, full lips accentuated with pink gloss.

“Hey,” Chorong said, not even hesitating to think about what she should say or how she should start.

Eunji startled, eyes wide on Chorong’s face before she looked around- probably wondering where Minho had gone.

“He went home,” Chorong blurted out, brows furrowed. “I’m supposed to be having sex with my boyfriend, but he went home ‘cause I’m too drunk.”

Eunji looked around again, this time seeming to evaluate who was around them before she grabbed Chorong by the wrist and pulled her into a quieter, more secluded corner.

Reminded of the last time they’d left a party for privacy, Chorong quickly pulled her wrist out of Eunji’s grasp.

“Why were you avoiding me?” she demanded, stomping her foot a little and having to quickly catch herself before she teetered into the wall.

“I wasn’t-”

“ _Yes, you were_!” Chorong insisted. “Every time I looked for you, you were on the opposite side of the room! And I had way too much to drink, and now I’m not having sex and it’s your fault.”

Eunji was staring at her with her mouth slightly parted like she had no idea how to respond to that.

And _good_. Maybe she was finally understanding just how much she’d screwed up Chorong’s life. Everything was _ruined_ , and just when she was getting things back on track, Eunji had to go and mess everything up again.

“You should go to bed,” Eunji finally told her, voice soft, but almost stoic and so unlike her. “You’re right. You had too much to drink. You should get some rest.”

“That’s what Minho said,” Chorong informed her. “And I’m going to.”

“That’s good,” Eunji nodded. “Come on, I’ll walk you upstairs.”

“I don’t need help getting to my own room,” Chorong grumbled, but found herself following Eunji nonetheless. “I don’t need your help. I can take care of myself. I’m a blackbelt, remember?”

“I remember,” Eunji said, leading her up both flights of stairs, and waiting patiently when Chorong started listing into the wall on her way up the second set.

“Tonight sucked,” Chorong announced when they made it to her bedroom, kicking her shoes off and digging through her dresser for her pajamas.

Eunji nodded from where she was standing in the doorway.

“Turn around,” Chorong instructed, holding up her pajamas to indicate that she wanted to change into them.

Eunj sighed, but did as she was told, not turning back around until after Chorong had wrestled her dress and bra off and managed to get her t-shirt over her head and her legs into her pants.

“Here’s a makeup wipe,” Eunji told her, offering a wipe from the pack on Chorong’s desk. “You don’t want to sleep in your makeup.

Flopping down on her bed, Chorong took the proffered wipe. “I don’t need you,” Chorong said, the words feeling weighty even in her drunken state. She didn’t know if she meant them in regards to the current moment or if she meant at all, ever. Either way, it didn't feel entirely truthful.

She swallowed as she wiped at her makeup, black smudging over the cloth.

“I know you don’t,” Eunji replied quietly, taking the wipe when Chorong was finished to throw it away. “Now get some sleep. Things won’t seem so bad in the morning.”

Chorong wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that things would be just as bad because she hadn’t had sex with her boyfriend and Eunji had ruined everything and that she hadn’t gotten any closure.

But as Eunji turned off the light and stepped out the door, Chorong couldn’t seem to find her voice.

 

\---

 

I'm gonna be late!! Sorry!!! ><

_Chorong’s last class had run late, and then she'd had to stay to ask the professor a question about the paper that was due the next week._

_After everything was said and done, she was still walking to the restaurant ten minutes past the time they'd all planned to meet._

do you kno what you want so we can order?? _Bomi texted back._

_Chorong had only been to that restaurant once, so she wasn't very familiar with the menu. But she hated to make her friends wait._

No, but I trust you to order for me! I will be there in 5 ^^

_Bomi, who was apparently very eager to eat, sent back a dancing emoji._

_“Sorry!” Chorong exclaimed when she finally made it, plopping down in the empty seat next to Bomi._

_“No worries, we ordered for you,” Na Eun told her. “And you’re just in time for Hayoung to tell us about a boy!”_

_“It’s not that big of a deal!” she insisted, even as everyone at the table leaned in to hear._

_When the food arrived, Chorong was prepared to eat whatever they’d chosen for her, even if it wouldn’t have been her choice. It was her fault she was late and she wasn’t going to make a fuss if it wasn’t her favorite._

_She was expecting something generic and easy like chicken tenders or a burger, so she was surprised when a panini was put in front of her. Lifting the top piece of bread, there appeared to be roasted red peppers, portobello mushrooms, and some kind of white cheese._

_“How’d we do?” Nam Joo asked, leaning across the table to inspect Chorong’s food._

_“Great!” Chorong enthused, not even just being polite. “This looks delicious! There was a sandwich I used to always get at that little restaurant on the corner that relocated, and it was almost just like this!”_

_“Geez, Eunji,” Hayoung said around a bite of her chicken sandwich. “Your memory is ridiculous.”_

_Eunji shrugged, but she was smiling, looking pleased._

_“They didn’t put onions on that, right?” she asked, peering at Chorong’s panini. “I asked them not to.”_

_Chorong peeked again. “Nope. No onions.”_

_“Good,” Eunji grinned, picking up a fry off her own plate and taking a bite._

_“I can’t believe you remember that I’d always get that sandwich without onions,” Chorong marvelled, honestly impressed and also flattered that Eunji had paid such close attention._

_Eunji shrugged again, waving off Chorong’s amazement with a laugh. “I’m just glad you’re happy with your dinner.”_

_“I am,” Chorong said again, feeling almost too smiley to eat._

_But then her stomach grumbled, so she figured she could sit with that warm and fuzzy feeling later._

 

\---

 

Chorong was dreaming about having a headache when she woke up, only to quickly find that the headache hadn't just been part of her dream.

Wincing, Chorong rolled over and pushed herself halfway up. The pain shifted and intensified, throbbing behind her eyes and having her hissing out a breath.

A quick glance across the room confirmed Bomi sprawled on her bed, fast asleep with one arm and one leg hanging over the side of the mattress.

It didn't take long to determine that her headache was a result of drinking too much the night before. How much had she even had? She couldn't remember. She couldn't even remember going to bed. That was never good.

But as she sat up, her stomach gave a lurch, and she had more pressing issues to attend to than trying to remember how she'd ended up in her pajamas, in bed.

Walking calmly but quickly to the bathroom, Chorong closed the door behind her and knelt carefully in front of the toilet. She tore a piece of toilet paper off the roll and wiped the seat off just to make herself feel better before she leaned against it and emptied her stomach into the bowl.

When her stomach stopped convulsing, Chorong took a deep breath and stood to brush her teeth. Hopefully that would be it for the puking today, but she had a feeling she wouldn't be so lucky.

After retrieving water from the kitchen, Chorong climbed back into bed, propping herself up on some pillows to slowly sip from her glass.

After hesitantly drinking down a fourth of the water, Chorong grabbed her phone to check the time. 8:24.

And a text from Minho.

 _Minho_.

Chorong was inundated with the memory of trying to get him to sleep with her and she flushed. It wasn't like her to be so bold or so careless. Minho’s rejection added a bit to her embarrassment, but she was grateful he'd been level-headed since she obviously hadn't been.

_I hope you slept well :)_

It was sweet of him to text her after she'd behaved so foolishly. But she set her phone aside without replying. She wasn’t quite ready to deal with anything yet.

Chorong remembered Minho telling her to go to bed and leaving, but had she gone straight to bed after that?

She'd walked him to the door and then…

Oh _god_.

Chorong's stomach revolted, but that time, it wasn't because of the alcohol.

Swallowing against the wave of nausea, Chorong took a deep breath and tried to calm herself.

The only thing that could have made her laying into Eunji for ruining her plans with Minho worse was if she'd directly referenced their kiss, which she was pretty sure she hadn't. That, or if she'd told her about the dream she'd had.

How did she even recover from that? Eunji didn't deserve to have all of Chorong’s frustration taken out on her like that. Chorong had ruined her own night by drinking too much. Even if Eunji _had_ been avoiding her.

Additionally, there was no way she could pretend that she didn't remember the kiss now. With the way she'd gotten so worked up...obviously she remembered. It wasn't like she'd been going off on Nam Joo for letting her drink so much. Or Minho for being a gentleman. Or Bomi for...being Bomi. She'd gotten mad at Eunji and that said that she remembered and was still thinking about the kiss, loud and clear.

How was she even supposed to face Eunji to apologize?

That was something she couldn't even begin to fathom right then, especially with her head pounding and her stomach feeling shaky from the water.

Fixing things with Minho would be easier. She'd just have to apologize for acting so brashly, thank him for being the voice of reason, and then move forward from there.

Just because things hadn't worked out the night before didn't mean that they never would. It didn't mean that they could never make it to that next step or that Chorong wouldn't be able to get closure and move past the kiss thing. She could still have sex with Minho and feel like everything was right with the world.

Though that was all something she'd have to work on when she wasn't feeling like death.

She really should have more water and maybe something to eat, but her stomach was feeling sicker and sicker by the second.

“Morning,” Bomi mumbled, shifting in her bed at looking over at Chorong through her mussed, blonde hair.

“Gonna be sick,” Chorong choked out, getting up gingerly and making for the door.

“Controlled puking,” Bomi observed, something she always teased Chorong about ever since she'd seen her ill for the first time, before rolling over and hugging a pillow to her chest.

Chorong would have retorted, but her stomach was making itself the priority and she was in no position to argue.

 

\---

 

_Hair wrapped in a towel and a second towel around her body, Chorong gathered her shower items and prepared to exit the bathroom. After she dried her hair, she had to do her reading for history and then, if she had time, start her paper for linguistics._

_She was so caught up in her mental checklist of everything she needed to get done in the next few days, that she nearly ran head first into Eunji as she turned down the hall._

_“Sorry,” she hastily apologized, getting a tighter grip on her towel._

_“Sorry!” Eunji exclaimed at the same time, appearing much more rattled as she took in Chorong in a towel._

_“It's fine,” Chorong assured her, checking to make sure her towel wasn't slipping when Eunji’s eyes strayed to where she was holding it at her chest._

_“Okay, yeah,” Eunji chuckled, eyes snapping back to Chorong’s face. “I’m gonna. Homework. Sorry again!”_

_And then Eunji was zooming off, closing the door to her room before Chorong could even respond._

_She looked down again to make sure she wasn’t accidentally exposed, but she was fully covered._

_That had been...odd._

_But Chorong had too many things to do to worry about what that had been about. Eunji was probably stressed about an exam or something. Chorong had probably just almost run into her at the exact wrong time because she was already keyed up._

_That was probably it._

 

\---

 

She couldn’t avoid Eunji forever. That would have been an impractical goal even if they hadn’t lived in the same house.

But Chorong, in the three days since the drunk incident (the... _second_ drunk incident regarding Eunji), had been doing her best to do just that.

She knew she was going to have to apologize to Eunji at some point for accusing her of ruining her night, but the idea of actually doing so had Chorong’s insides twisting so tight that she could barely breathe. Maybe in a few days, she told herself. Maybe in a few days she’d be up to facing Eunji and how she’d behaved.

Today was not that day.

Chorong waited until she saw Eunji walking away from the house for her technology and education class from the window in her room before she ventured downstairs to get a snack from the kitchen.

An uneventful afternoon to do her theory readings. That was what she’d been hoping for. And with Eunji out of the house for a few hours, she should have been able to feel relaxed enough to get that done with no problem.

But sometimes interruptions couldn’t be predicted or avoided.

“Why are you dating Minho?” Joy asked from where she was sitting at the kitchen island, a glass of juice next to her and her homework spread out in front of her.

“Excuse me?” Chorong answered, too surprised to come up with anything else.

“I just don’t understand why you’re dating him,” Joy said with a shrug, so casual as though she often questioned people’s personal dating choices. Maybe she did, for all Chorong knew.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Chorong challenged, trying to make her voice light. “He’s a really great guy. Nice, handsome, athletic, smart-”

“I know he’s a great guy,” Joy interrupted. “Or he seems like it, anyway. I just don’t understand why _you_ are dating him.”

Chorong frowned, pretty sure she was right to feel offended.

“Are you saying I’m not good enough?” she asked, shocked that Joy would be so rude.

Joy rolled her eyes. “ _No_. Obviously not.”

“So, why-?”

“Why are you dating him if you like Eunji?” Joy asked plainly, and Chorong had to grab onto the edge of the counter as the room spun.

“What?” she got out weakly. “I don’t- did Eunji say something to you?”

Joy shook her head. “It’s just really obvious, that’s all.”

Chorong gaped.

“So I was just wondering why you were dating Minho when you obviously like Eunji,” Joy reiterated. “I mean, I saw you guys kiss the other month, and now you two are taking turns avoiding each other. It’s pretty dumb.”

“How did you...see us?” Chorong asked, panic flowing through her and making her hands tremble.

“I was looking for Hayoung,” she shrugged. “I walked past Eunji’s room. I didn’t, like, stop to watch or anything, though.”

“There wouldn’t have been anything to watch!” Chorong defended. “It was just for a second!”

Joy shrugged again like she couldn’t have cared less whether it was a peck or a full blown makeout session.

“Does anyone else know?” Chorong demanded. She had to know. If other people knew, they were probably whispering about it behind her back and thinking things about her…

“I don’t think so,” Joy said. “I didn’t go and tell anyone, if that’s what you’re wondering. But I don’t know why you’re acting like it’s such a big deal.”

“But-” Chorong floundered. She couldn’t understand why Joy was acting like it was nothing. “I mean, it’s _not_ a big deal because it was just a second. But if people knew… _they_ would think it was a huge deal.”

“Why is that?” Joy asked, nonplussed.

“Lesbian...sorority girls!” Chorong hissed, not wanting to be too loud in case anyone was nearby.

“So? What do you think Irene does on the weekends?”

Chorong blinked. Irene? What did she have to do with anything?

“Goes to her boyfriend’s place?” Chorong tried. Was this a trick question?

“ _No_ ,” Joy said. “She goes to her _girlfriend’s_ place and has sex on bajillion thread count sheets, or something. I don’t know the details. Well. I don’t know _all_ of the details.”

Girlfriend? Irene? But…?

Chorong was speechless.

“How do you know that?” she asked when she finally had gathered her thoughts enough to speak.

“She told me,” Joy answered easily. “The reason not everyone knows is because she doesn’t like people getting into her business. And her girlfriend is some big deal choreographer, so she doesn’t want to start rumors or something. I don’t know. I mean, if _I_ was banging someone with a huge apartment in the city, I’d be telling everyone all about it, but…” she shrugged again.

Chorong knew she was gaping, but she couldn’t help it. She’d had no idea!

Irene...Irene didn’t _seem_ like a lesbian. But as soon as she’d had that thought, she wanted to kick herself. What a stupid thing to even think. It wasn’t like lesbians all wore combat boots and plaid, flannel shirts and had short hair and shopped at Home Depot. She knew that. Irene was just so…

And it didn’t seem like Irene had any qualms with being the way she was. She wasn’t always skulking around looking miserable because she felt excluded or something. She was the vice president of the sorority, for goodness sakes! Her life obviously didn’t revolve around the fact that she liked women. Not that Chorong thought that that’s the way things worked. She…

She didn’t know what she thought.

“So can you and Eunji can just date?” Joy asked, pulling Chorong from inside her own head. “Because all this dancing around each other is getting painful to watch, honestly.”

“I’m not-” Chorong started, but then stopped. Not what? “Eunji likes boys, though. Didn’t she date that guy last year?”

“Eunji is bi,” Joy told her, looking at her like she was stupid. Maybe she was. “Am I the only one who listens around here? She’s implied it half a dozen times.”

Had she? Chorong couldn’t remember her ever saying something that would make her think...aside from LGBT rights. But she was always talking about all kinds of rights.

“She never uses gender pronouns when she talks about dating,” Joy supplied, like she knew that Chorong was wracking her brain. “And she makes little comments here and there, like about a woman being pretty or something. But, like, in a way that implies more than platonic appreciation. Like she’s testing the waters. She looks at you after she says them, probably to see if you picked up on it. Which, apparently, you haven’t.”

“I-”

Chorong wanted to defend herself, tell Joy that she wasn’t as dense as she seemed. But maybe she was. She was just going through life with all of these assumptions about the way things were and the way that things were supposed to be...and she was missing so much of what was going on around her.

“If she likes me, then why was she acting like I was a leper on Saturday?” Chorong challenged. It was the last thing she could think to argue.

“Maybe because she didn’t want to see you making out with your boyfriend because _she likes you_?”

Chorong scrambled for something else to say, some other denial, but she came up with nothing.

“Seriously, just talk to Eunji. Work all this stuff out,” Joy said, gathering her things and getting up to leave. “Please, for the love of god, work it out. Watching you guys constantly flirting or avoiding each other is annoying. Just date.”

And with a pat on the shoulder, Joy was walking out of the room and leaving Chorong feeling like the walls were closing in.

Joy knew. Joy _knew_.

There was no pretending anymore if someone else had seen. The jig was up. It was over.

 

\---

 

_Chorong settled onto her mom’s bed, leaning against a stack of pillows, just as the show started._

_That afternoon, she’d finished her last final exam as a freshman in high school, so she felt great- relieved and proud and finally free to just sit back and relax. And watch some questionable reality television with her mom._

_That time it was a modeling show, though it seemed like a quarter of the show was modeling, a quarter was the judges ripping the contestants to shreds, a quarter was fights between the girls, and a quarter was the girls gossiping while swimming around in the massive pool at the house they were all staying in._

_That season, there was a lesbian contestant, which was a big deal since she was the first lesbian to be on the show._

_Chorong was, personally, rooting for her. She seemed down to earth and had a cute look. Her mom, on the other hand, was rooting for another one of the girls who had a degree from a university in bio engineering._

_In that episode, the lesbian made friends with another one of the contestants and they went skinny dipping in the middle of the night. Then there was some grainy footage from a camera installed in the bedroom of the two of them in a bed together._

_For some reason, Chorong found herself very invested in this turn of events. She wasn’t sure if she was uncomfortable or intrigued, but there was definitely something twisting in her gut that wouldn’t let her look away._

_After that, they cut to a scene of the straight girl on the phone with her boyfriend, crying to him about how she’d kissed a girl and was so sorry and so confused._

_“Don’t know why she’s confused,” Chorong’s mom said from beside her, sounding exasperated by the whole thing. “She’s obviously a lesbian. You don’t just kiss girls for no reason.”_

_But she had a boyfriend. Maybe it was just a mistake. The lesbian was super cute, too. Who could blame her for wanting to kiss her? That didn’t mean she was a lesbian, surely. She just got swept away._

_It seemed reasonable to Chorong, though her mother was obviously convinced of the opposite._

_A few episodes later when the lesbian got eliminated and her mother said something negative about the photo that had gotten her sent home, Chorong stomped out of the room- mad for reasons she didn’t understand._

_They were reasons she didn’t_ want _to understand._

 

\---

 

It was a new day, and Chorong was going to Minho’s. She’d already been planning on it, and maybe she’d just overreacted yesterday.

So Joy had seen she and Eunji kiss. So what? She hadn’t told anyone. And just because she thought it meant something didn’t mean that it did.

Joy might have been right about Eunji being attracted to women as well as men, but that didn’t mean she liked Chorong. There were a lot of assumptions being made, and there was really no concrete evidence to back it up.

What Chorong knew for sure was that she was dating Minho and he was the kind of guy anyone would be lucky to date. So she was going to hang out at his place for a while. Simple. Straightforward. Not scary.

“Are you feeling better?” Minho asked when he let her into the frat house.

“I am,” she told him, smiling and reminding herself how lucky she was to be dating someone as kind as him.

“That’s good,” he said, leading her up the stairs and toward the room he shared with Jonghyun.

This was what her life was supposed to be, she told herself, walking down the hallway on the second floor of the Phi Tau frat house. This was the first time she’d been here with the express purpose of seeing Minho, but surely it was the first of many.

“Where’s Jonghyun?” Chorong asked when they got to his room, half decorated with soccer posters and the other half with obscure, indie musicians.

“Class,” Minho informed her. “He wanted a four day weekend, so he squished everything into three days. He’ll be gone all afternoon.”

Chorong didn’t know if he was telling her for the same reason she’d asked, but she figured he wouldn’t be opposed.

“I’m not drunk now,” she told him, shutting the door and turning to look at Minho.

“I would certainly hope not since it’s barely noon,” he laughed, but he accepted the kiss she pressed to his lips, keeping it chaste briefly before opening her mouth and letting the kiss escalate.

This was what she wanted, she reminded herself. She liked boys. She liked Minho. She wanted him like this.

Joy was wrong. She didn’t like Eunji. Sure, she liked Eunji. But she didn’t-

It wasn’t like she wanted her like this- pressed against her, hands all over, tongue sliding against the roof of her mouth.

Chorong, previously more focused on how she tilted her head just so in order to create the perfect picture in her mind, felt a rush of want sear through her.

The way Eunji had held onto the back of her neck when they kissed hadn’t been rough or demanding, but it had been firm- like she really, really didn’t want Chorong to pull away. Like she’d wanted to keep kissing her for as long as she could.

Her lips had been so soft and warm, even under the slide of her lipgloss. Chorong could still taste the peppermint when she closed her eyes, but she wanted to know how Eunji tasted- if she’d have been able to taste the cranberry on her tongue from the cocktail she’d had before they’d ventured upstairs.

Eunji’s body wash smelled of strawberry and all Chorong wanted to do was press her nose to the warm skin of her neck and inhale, the sweet from the soap that was left behind and the musk of her skin underneath it.

To have Eunji’s eyes on her, hands on her, lips on her-

Chorong’s heart was pounding, and there was an insistent throbbing between her legs.

Given that she was currently making out with her boyfriend, that wasn’t a strange state of being to be in.

But she knew- deep down, she’d always known- that he had little to do with it.

Had she ever found enjoyment from kissing boys?

She’d gotten a sense of satisfaction from acting like she was a heroine in a movie, moving just so- doing what she pictured in her mind to make the perfect scene. Every move- every tilt of her head, slide of her hand, stutter of her breath- had been calculated to make everything look right. It had been to make it believable.

Chorong had been acting, trying to play the part of the girl she thought she ought to be. She’d even half convinced herself.

The realization, too potent, too undeniable to run away from again, was like ice water dripping down her ribs.

“I can’t,” she blurted out, breaking away from the kiss, and feeling shame and relief all at once. “I’m not- I wanted to want this so much.”

Minho didn’t look shocked. Disappointed, certainly, but resigned.

Maybe she wasn’t as convincing as she’d thought.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, throat tight and knees trembling.

“Me too,” Minho said before calmly walking her to the door and bidding her goodbye.

Without either of them saying it explicitly, she knew they both knew it was over.

Chorong was overwhelmed, shaking all the way back to the sorority house.

This was really it. There was no going back this time. For as hard as she had always tried to lie to herself, the truth felt inescapable and heavy now.

But the weight of the truth was undeniably lighter than the weight of her lies.

 

\---

 

_“Oh my god, how did I never know that you had massive boobs?” Na Eun not-so-discreetly exclaimed when Bomi peeked out of the fitting room in the bra she was trying on._

_A group of them had gone on a pilgrimage to the mall, and it was no surprise when almost all of them needed either new bras or underwear since those were always getting worn out. Plus, the glitzy window displays had all of the girls in their group wanting to go in and at least look around._

_And naturally, when there were bras to be tried on, moral support and a second opinion was needed. Which was how Chorong found herself huddled outside the dressing rooms with Na Eun while Bomi, Nam Joo, and Eunji tried on bras._

_Bomi laughed at Na Eun’s observation._

_“Just because I don’t wave them around all the time like Nam Joo doesn’t mean I don’t have them.”_

_“I heard that!” Nam Joo called from her changing room. “And I don’t wave them around! It’s not my fault that v-necks are flattering on me!”_

_Bomi snickered. “Anyway, what do you think of the bra?”_

_“Wow cleavage,” was Na Eun’s contribution._

_“Is it comfortable?” Chorong asked._

_“Yeah, I think so,” Bomi said, sticking her fingers underneath the sides of the band. “It’s kind of tight though? I have it on the loosest closure.”_

_“It’ll stretch,” Chorong pointed out practically. “It’s better to start out with it too tight. Plus, it doesn’t_ look _too tight. Is it really uncomfortable?”_

_Bomi shook her head. “No, I think it’s good. Okay.”_

_She ducked back into her dressing room as Nam Joo stepped out._

_“Geez, are you_ trying _to make me feel inferior?” Na Eun complained._

_“Cute, right?” Nam Joo asked, adjusting the straps of the very pink and lacey bra she was trying on._

_Chorong nodded. “It’s really nice.”_

_“Awesome! Done!” Nam Joo announced, slipping back into her dressing room._

_“I hate to be a disappointment after all that,” Eunji joked as she leaned out of her room._

_She was just in a simple black bra- no lace or mesh or anything fancy- and her boobs weren’t so pushed up that they looked like they could take someone’s eye out. But there was something about Eunji in lingerie, simple and practical as it was, that had Chorong feel like she was seeing something she wasn’t supposed to._

_“You’re not a disappointment,” Chorong blurted out before wondering about the implications of telling a friend that their breasts weren’t a let down._

_“Still bigger than mine,” Na Eun sighed, clearly not worried about awkwardly staring since she was blatantly eying Eunji’s B cups where they swelled above the black material._

_Eunji snorted. “Thanks for all the encouragement? But does it look like it fits okay?”_

_“Does it feel okay?” Chorong asked, eyes on Eunji’s face. She didn’t want Eunji to think she was weird for talking to her boobs._

_Eunji held the cups in her palms and adjusted herself, squishing her boobs up and enhancing the subtle cleavage she already had. Chorong looked over her shoulder for something to do._

_“Yeah, it feels pretty good,” Eunji said, looking at herself in the mirror and making tiny adjustments so the bra sat better. “Definitely better than my old one. You were right about bras stretching out. My old one is almost too loose now!”_

_Realizing she was being addressed, Chorong met Eunji’s eyes in the mirror and smiled._

_Surely she didn’t need more feedback. It fit. Why was Chorong watching her tighten the straps so her breasts sat higher?_

_“Okay, good,” Eunji grinned, turning to look at Chorong and Na Eun again. “Thanks!”_

_“Finally,” Na Eun griped when Eunji closed the door to change back into her own bra and her street clothes._

_Chorong completely agreed._

_Though as Na Eun went on to complain about having unfairly small boobs, Chorong thought that maybe their discomfort was for different reasons._

 

\---

 

After sitting with the fact that she’d been living a lie for a couple of days, Chorong felt like she needed to talk to someone about it lest she go even crazier than she already was.

Joy already knew, so she was the first one to pop into Chorong’s mind. But she and Joy weren’t super close, so that might be weird. Plus, Joy had seemed rather exasperated by the whole thing.

There was Irene, who would understand if all that Joy said was true, but since Irene hadn’t told her herself, she felt weird bringing up her sexuality and girlfriend out of nowhere. Plus, she didn’t want to get Joy into trouble.

Chorong knew she was going to have to talk to Eunji at some point, but that was way too scary for a first step. Talking to _anyone_ was nerve-wracking, let alone having to somehow confess in the midst of it all.

Bomi hadn’t been involved in any of this, so she would probably be more surprised than any of the other people she’d considered, but at the same time, Bomi was her best friend and there was really no one else she’d rather tell.

Even if she was anxious just thinking about it.

“Do you have a second?” Chorong asked when both she and Bomi were in their room, each on their laptops at their desks.

“Yeah, I’m just procrastinating,” Bomi told her with a chuckle as she minimized tumblr on her computer. “What’s up?”

Chorong took a breath and scooted her desk chair over so they were closer together. She didn’t want to have to yell it across the room.

“I have to talk to you about something,” she said.

“Okay, okay. It was Nam Joo and me who broke into Phi Tau and threw all the laundry on the lawn,” Bomi blurted out before Chorong could even ready herself to speak. “But it was just a prank!”

Chorong blinked. “I...didn’t even know that happened.”

Bomi’s eyes widened. “In that case, it definitely, _definitely_ wasn’t us.”

Maybe she should have been concerned, as the president and all, but right then, she had other things on her mind.

“Okay, that’s fine,” she said, waving it off. “I need to tell you something.”

“Yeah?” Bomi prompted, brows creased in concern when she picked up on how serious Chorong was being. “Are you dying? Oh my god, do you have a horrible, rare disease? Do you-”

“No,” Chorong cut her off, hoping that Bomi would be so glad that she wasn’t dying that she wouldn’t be horrified by what she actually needed to tell her. “I’m not dying.”

Bomi relaxed a little.

“I’ve been...going through a lot of stuff recently...in my own head,” Chorong started, and okay, that probably just made her sound insane. “I’ve had to come to terms with a lot of stuff that, in the past, I haven’t wanted to admit.”

She blew out a breath, trying to muster the courage to say what she needed to say. She could preface some more, try to ready them.both for what she was gearing up for, but it was probably better to just get it over with.

“I realized that...I’m not interested in men,” Chorong’s heart rate accelerated as she said the words. “I like women.”

Chorong held onto the seat of her chair to keep herself from panicking entirely. She’d never said those words out loud, and now her ears were ringing and she felt like she might faint.

What was Bomi going to think of her? What if she was disgusted? What if she was angry that she’d changed in front of Chorong without knowing? What if she didn’t even believe her?

Bomi looked thoughtful.

“Huh,” she said, not sounding particularly perturbed. “I guess that makes sense. So, you broke up with Minho?”

“Yeah, I did,” she confirmed. “But...is that all?”

Bomi frowned. “Is what all?”

“Just…” Chorong hadn’t been prepared for such a lack of reaction. She thought that, at the very least, Bomi would be shocked. “You’re not mad? Or freaked out?”

“No…” Bomi laughed. “Should I be?”

“Well...no. But, I mean, we’ve shared a bed and stuff…”

Bomi gasped over dramatically and then shot Chorong a look that seemed to say _is that the reaction you wanted?_

“You’re seriously...okay with it?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be? Aside from the scandalous fact that we’ve shared a bed,” she teased.

Chorong could feel herself tearing up, touched by Bomi’s understanding and support.

“Aw, Chorongie, don’t cry!” Bomi cooed, scooting over and wrapping her arms around her.

“It’s been an overwhelming few weeks,” she choked out, letting herself relax into the hug.

“I bet,” Bomi soothed, comfortingly rubbing her back just like she had when Chorong had nearly cracked under the pressure of taking 18 credit hours one semester.

“Thank you,” she said into Bomi’s shoulder.

Even if some of the other girls didn’t react as well (the thought of everyone finding out still terrified her), knowing that she would have her best friend by her side had her feeling infinitely better.

“Wanna binge watch something?” Bomi asked when Chorong had stopped crying and was wiping at her eyes with a tissue.

Chorong laughed, feeling lighter than she had in a long time. “Yes, I really do.”

 

\---

 

_“Do you have class now?” Eunji asked, coming up to Chorong as she was waiting for her vanilla latte at the cafe near campus._

_Chorong smiled, scooting over a bit so the man who’d been in front of her had room to get to the cream and sugar._

_“Yeah, in a few minutes,” she said, shifting her books to her other arm. “How about you? I thought you got to sleep in on Thursdays.”_

_“Usually do,” Eunji told her on a half laugh, half grimace. “I have to meet for a group project now.”_

_Chorong wrinkled her nose in sympathy. She was always the one who got stuck doing most of the work when she was with a group, and she guessed that Eunji was the same based on her go-getter attitude and good grades._

_“Vanilla latte,” the barista called out, and Chorong reached out to get her cup with a thank you and a smile._

_With her books still in one hand and her coffee in the other, she fumbled to pick up a sleeve for her cup so she didn't burn her fingers._

_“Let me,” Eunji said with a laugh, taking the sleeve from Chorong’s fumbling grip and steadying her coffee cup with a light touch to the back of her hand._

_The sleeve was easily slipped onto the cup, and Chorong stumbled through a thank you, not quite sure why the kindness had taken her so off guard._

_Eunji waved her off with a grin and Chorong found herself standing there wordlessly before she remembered that she had to be in class on just a couple of minutes._

_“Have a good class,” Eunji said, already a step ahead of her._

_Chorong giggled, shaking her head at herself and wiggling her shoulder to heft her bag up._

_“Good luck with the group project!” she told Eunji, waving with her coffee cup as she stepped away to make for the door._

_As soon as she turned, she started at a clipped pace toward her class._

_She should hurry to get there on time, plus there was a tickle along her spine that was urging her forward- only fading when she stepped into the language building._

 

\---

 

Even though she wasn't performing in the Spring Sing, as the president of her sorority, Chorong was still busy with preparations. It was her job to corral all the girls in Alpha Phi and make sure that everyone attended.

It was chaos on the day of the competition with all of the sororities and fraternities associated with their college congregating in the same space.

Chorong’s most high profile responsibility was announcing their group. Which was bound to be interesting since…

“Please welcome to the stage...the Bass Clef Honey Badgers.”

It had been the best compromise they had managed to come up with, unfortunately.

The audience snickered as Chorong left the stage and Bomi, Nam Joo, Eunji, and the three boys from Phi Tau took her place.

“I can’t believe that’s our team name,” Irene grumbled when Chorong took her seat beside her in the audience.

Chorong had heard bits and pieces of their practices, but she had yet to experience the whole song.

Everyone knew that Eunji was a good singer. Chorong knew it well. And yet every time she heard her sing, she was blown away.

That day was no exception.

All six of the group members could sing- Jonghyun was even a vocal minor- but Chorong couldn’t take her eyes away from Eunji and the way she sang with such happiness and ease, like it came as naturally as breathing.

Chorong was enchanted, and she couldn’t stop wondering if Joy could possibly be right; could Eunji really like her too?

Over the past few days since she’d stopped trying to outrun her feelings, she’d been going over countless interactions she’d had with Eunji in the past. Some of them made her think that maybe Joy was right. But she was in no way sure. The idea that Eunji could return her feelings just felt so impossible.

But that didn’t stop Chorong’s heart from picking up when Eunji briefly looked right at her from the stage.

When they finished the song, Chorong clapped and cheered with the rest of the girls from Alpha Phi, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from Eunji- beaming as she took a bow.

With the amount of talented members of Alpha Phi and Phi Tau, it was no surprise that the Bass Clef Honey Badgers won first place.

And how much Chorong wanted to run up to Eunji and kiss her in congratulations scared her a little.

She had to confront Eunji about everything. She couldn’t put it off much longer.

 

\---

 

_Tap, tap, tap._

_Tap, tap, tap._

_Chorong looked away from the movie they had playing on the TV to where Eunji was tapping against her thigh with the toes on her right foot._

_Tap, tap, tap._

_Making eye contact, Chorong raised her eyebrows and Eunji grinned._

_Looking back to the screen, Chorong waited a beat. Nothing._

_Alright then. She could go back to focusing on the love story playing out in front of her._

_But then, five minutes later…_

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap._

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap-_

_Both feet, this time, tapping out a never ending beat against her thigh._

_Eunji’s eyes were on the TV, but Chorong could tell she wasn’t watching and that she was focused on what she was doing with her toes._

_“_ Really _?” Chorong hissed, shooting Eunji a look when she finally stopped pretending to be paying attention to the movie._

_Eunji pouted at her, but didn’t stop the movement of her feet._

_Chorong sighed, and resigned herself to her fate as she turned back toward the television. But she slumped against the armrest and cradled her head in her hand in a way that Eunji would know she was annoyed. Maybe she’d take pity on her._

_Tappity tap, tappity tap tap, tappity tap, tappity tap tap, tappity-_

_When Chorong turned to Eunji again, Eunji was looking right at her like she’d been waiting for the reaction._

_Usually, Chorong would expect something like this from Bomi, or maybe one of the younger girls like Hayoung or Joy. But that day, it appeared that Eunji had been overtaken by her mischievous side and was dead set on getting Chorong’s attention._

_Well, she had it...in the form of Chorong narrowing her eyes and looking as unimpressed as she possibly could._

_Eunji laughed quietly._

_“You look like an annoyed cat with its ears flat back when you do that,” she told her, toes having lost their rhythm but not their enthusiasm._

_“If I look like an annoyed cat, then why don’t you stop?” Chorong whispered back, trying not to disturb anyone else’s movie watching experience. “When cats do this, they’re probably getting ready to bite you.”_

_Eunji was still grinning at her, pleased as could be. “Because you look cute,” she easily informed her, shooting her one last smile before turning back to the movie and picking up with the rhythm she’d been tapping out previously._

_Tappity tap, tappity tap tap, tappity tap, tappity tap tap, tappity tap..._

_Chorong gaped, barely even noticing the fact that her thigh was acting as Eunji’s personal snare drum._

_She looked cute? That had not been the answer she’d been expecting. She was fun to annoy, maybe. That’s what any of the other girls would have said._

Cute _?_

_It had Chorong flushing despite her desire to remain inconvenienced by Eunji’s toe tapping. Something warm flared up in her chest if she thought too hard about it, so she forced herself to concentrate on what was happening in the movie. Even though she hadn’t been paying attention for nearly ten minutes._

_Eunji’s feet drumming against her was kind of soothing, once she’d gotten used to it. Which was the only reason why she let her get away with it for the rest of the film._

 

\---

 

Neither of them had class on Tuesday afternoons. It was an ideal time, especially since Nam Joo, who roomed with Eunji, did have class.

Standing in the hallway outside Eunji’s room, out of sight of the open door, Chorong had to force herself not to flee and put it off for another week.

No matter Eunji’s reaction, she had to do this. Worst case, she got rejected. But at least she would have been honest. And she really wouldn't be in a worse spot than she was now since she and Eunji were just tentatively interacting.

Taking a deep breath, Chorong stepped up to the open door and took in the sight of Eunji bent over the textbook on her desk, afternoon sun making her brown hair glow almost red.

“Knock, knock,” she said, rapping on the doorframe with her knuckles.

Eunji looked up, surprise crossing her features before she smiled carefully.

“Can we talk?” Chorong asked, voice a little shaky.

Brows jumping, Eunji nodded, watching as Chorong stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.

Chorong faltered, unsure of where to sit until Eunji gestured to her bed.

Perched on the edge of the mattress, Chorong took another readying breath. She could do this. More importantly, she _had_ to do this. So she had to just suck it up and barrel forward.

“I owe you an apology,” Chorong started. “Lots of apologies, actually. First of all, I’m sorry for going off on you the other weekend at the party. You did nothing to deserve that.”

“You were drunk,” Eunji said, charitably trying to excuse Chorong’s behavior.

Chorong shook her head. “I was, but I still shouldn’t have done it. And I’m sorry for avoiding you afterwards. I was embarrassed and I didn’t even know what to say. But I should have just apologized to you right away.”

“You’re forgiven,” Eunji told her with a reassuring smile, and Chorong didn’t know how Eunji could be so kind. Especially when she’d been so awful.

“I’m also sorry for avoiding you after…” Chorong trailed off, cheeks heating even though it had just been a kiss and it had been over two months ago. “I’ve been behaving like an insane person, going hot and cold on you all the time, and I am so sorry. I understand if you are just fed up at this point and would rather spend your time with people who don’t suddenly start avoiding you. But I just...want to tell you why I’ve been acting like that.”

Eunji was looking at her curiously, hair falling softly over her shoulder and sweatshirt sleeves pinched between twiddling fingers.

Chorong’s heart did a little extra thump.

“I’ve been running away from a lot of things,” she began, studying her own hands in her lap instead of looking Eunji in the eye. “I’ve been running all my life. But you’ve made it so hard to keep running because no matter where I turn, you're there.”

Chorong glanced up from her chipped, burgundy nail polish to see Eunji’s brows furrowed before she looked back down.

“I’ve been lying to myself and pretending for the rest of the world for so long, but I can’t do it anymore,” Chorong’s voice wavered, and no, she really, really didn’t want to become some crying mess, but if she stopped now, she knew she would lose her nerve. “I’ve been trying to convince myself and everyone else that I’m straight, but...I’m not. I don’t like men. Not like that. I never have. I’ve always- I used to pore over the lingerie and underwear catalogues that came in the mail for my mom when I was younger. I-”

Chorong flushed. She hadn’t actually thought about that for a long time, and she certainly hadn’t meant to blurt that out to Eunji.

“Anyway,” she hastily went on, “I like women. I’m...gay.”

Blowing out a breath at finally saying those words out loud, Chorong finally mustered the courage to look at Eunji for her reaction. She really didn’t know what to expect but-

Eunji was looking at her softly, eyes gentle and lips curved up just slightly.

She looked like she was about to say something, but the fact that she wasn’t disgusted gave Chorong that last push she needed to say the other very important thing that she’d come to say.

“So, I was being all weird and crazy because you were making it so hard for me to ignore all of that,” Chorong said before Eunji could speak. “I really like you. And the way I feel for you was what I’d been running from for so long, but I’m not anymore. I understand if you’ve had it with me or if you just never felt that way. But I needed to tell you.”

That time, Chorong was too scared to see Eunji’s reaction.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, Eunji got up from her chair and came to sit next to Chorong on the bed.

Chorong swallowed, trying to calm herself. Eunji sitting next to her surely meant that she wasn’t horrified by Chorong’s confession. But just the close proximity on top of all she’d admitted had Chorong’s heart slamming up against her ribcage.

When Eunji took one of Chorong’s hands in hers, it was a wonder that Chorong didn’t just choke on the air in her lungs.

“Thank you for telling me all of that,” Eunji began, voice soft but crystal clear since they were seated so close. “I have to admit that I’m relieved that I hadn’t done something to upset you and make you not want to be around me.”

Chorong’s head snapped up, another apology on her lips, but Eunji just smiled reassuringly and shushed her.

“I’ve liked you for a long time, Chorong,” she said, and Chorong nearly stopped breathing- feeling like she might have been floating up, out of her body with how surreal it seemed. “But I never knew if you felt the same way. Sometimes it seemed like you might. I’d definitely hoped.”

Chorong knew she was gaping, but she couldn’t help it. Eunji liking her back had been a possibility, certainly. Especially after what Joy had said to her. But it still felt too good to be true.

Eunji smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

“Also, on a semi related note, how are you doing now that you’ve come out? Are you okay? I know that can be really scary. So know that I’m here to talk if you ever need to.”

Nodding dumbly, a bubble of warmth swelled and burst in Chorong’s chest.

“I’m okay,” she added when she remembered that Eunji had asked a question. “It’s a lot, but I feel better than I did before.”

“I’m glad,” Eunji told her, hands still holding onto Chorong’s. “Now, what do you want to happen next?”

“Next?” she parroted, getting Eunji’s meaning a beat later. “Oh! Well, I mean, I like you, so...I want to be with you. If...you want that, too.”

“I have to ask,” Eunji said, serious. “Are you going to get cold feet and decide that you want to try being straight again in a month? Because I don’t think my heart can take that.”

“No!” Chorong shook her head forcefully. “No, now that I’ve stopped lying to myself, I can’t go back again. And being...gay doesn’t seem so scary when I means I get to be with you. I mean, it’s kind of scary, but it’s good scary. I’ve never dated anyone I had real feelings for before.”

“We don’t have to rush,” Eunji assured her. “I know you must still be taking everything in. So, if you want to really make sure you’re ready to be in a relationship with a girl...”

“Taking things slowly would probably be good,” Chorong admitted, even though she was impatient now that she knew just what she wanted. “But I’m sure. I’m finally, really and truly sure.”

Eunji was smiling at her, and it felt as though they were both thinking the very same thing, though neither of them moved.

“Can I kiss you?” Eunji asked, and Chorong nodded, heart pounding too hard for her to reply.

As she’d experienced multiple times in the past few weeks, it felt like the room was spinning, but instead of feeling like she was going to go crashing to the ground, Chorong felt like she was floating in the middle of the whirlwind- lighter than air.

Eunji’s lips on hers were just as soft as she remembered from that fateful night a few months back. But this time, she let herself enjoy it instead of pulling away and pretending that it had felt wrong.

Because there was absolutely no denying how very right it felt.

 

\---

 

_“Eunji!” Chorong called, trotting to catch up when she spotted Eunji walking a few feet in front of her._

_“Hey!” Eunji greeted, grinning as Chorong fell into step with her._

_“Where are you headed?” Chorong asked, pulling her knit hat further down over her ears._

_“Psychology,” Eunji answered, switching her coffee cup to her other hand shoving cold looking fingers into her coat pocket._

_“Where are your gloves?” Chorong gaped, wincing at a strong gust of frigid wind._

_“Forgot them,” Eunji told her with a laugh and a grimace. “Just have to alternate which hand gets to be in my pocket so they don't go completely numb.”_

_Chorong tsked, pulling off her gloves._

_“Here, take mine,” she said, holding them out._

_“But then_ your _hands are going to be cold,” Eunji protested, wind blowing her hair in her face and making her shiver._

_“I'm just going to the library,” Chorong told her, gloves still held out. “You have to go all the way across campus.”_

_Eunji hesitated, but took the proffered gloves when Chorong didn't budge._

_“Lemme hold your coffee,” Chorong said, taking the cup as Eunji wiggled her cold fingers into the purple knit gloves._

_“Thank you,” Eunji gusted, taking her cup back and grinning gratefully. “I'll return them when I get home tonight.”_

_“Don't worry about it,” Chorong assured her with a smile. She was glad she could help. She'd hate for Eunji to have to tromp all the way across campus with no gloves._

_And even as she buried cold fingers in her pockets on her way home from the library later that afternoon, Chorong smiled to herself, knowing that Eunji was warm._

 

\---

 

“Do you want to order a pizza to share?” Bomi asked, looking across the room upside down from her bed.

Chorong finished applying her lipstick in the little mirror on her desk. “Sorry, I'm actually getting dinner with...a friend.”

She hid her giddy smile by turning to put her phone in her purse.

“Fine,” Bomi sighed over dramatically. “Maybe I'll have to get a whole pizza for myself, then.”

“I see no problem with this plan.”

“Ready?” Eunji asked, stopping in the doorway of Chorong's and Bomi’s room.

“Yeah,” Chorong breathlessly answered, grin unstoppable.

Bomi was looking at her in confusion, which was understandable. She must have assumed that she didn't know Chorong's friend since she hadn't just said she was getting dinner with Eunji. Because if she had, it would have been normal to invite Bomi along.

But this wasn't just any dinner. This was a date, their _first_ date, and Chorong was as terrified as she was euphoric.

“See you later,” Chorong said to Bomi as she followed Eunji out of the room, hoping get that she managed to communicate _I'll explain later_ with her eyes.

She probably should have told Bomi already, but she was just having so much trouble comprehending that she was really dating Eunji. She felt like, if she told Bomi, she'd realize that she'd dreamt the whole thing up and then she'd have to turn around and tell her that it wasn't true after all. But she thought that after actually going on a date and seeing that she wasn’t hallucinating the whole thing, she’d be able to comfortably tell Bomi everything.

“I think Bomi is going to have a lot of questions when you get back to the room,” Eunji teased as they stepped out of the house.

“If she isn’t already texting them all to me as we speak,” Chorong laughed, fingers clenched tight in the sleeves of her sweater. This was just Eunji. They’d hung out countless times over the course of the past three years. This was no different...except for all of the ways that it _was_.

“Will you...be okay with answering them?” Eunji asked tentatively. She hadn’t advertised their relationship and hadn’t pushed Chorong about it doing it either. But Chorong knew she must have been wondering if Chorong was going to want to keep it a secret forever.

“Yeah,” Chorong confirmed, fiddling with the strap of her purse and forcing herself to look Eunji in the eye. “I’ll tell her everything tonight. I just wanted it to feel real to me first before I told anyone else.”

“You think a date will make it feel more real?”

Chorong nodded, giggling through a wave of giddy anxiousness. “I hope so...sorry I'm being such a spazz.”

Eunji shook her head with a smile, touching her hand to Chorong’s forearm.

 

\---

 

Sitting across from Eunji in the diner near campus wasn’t anything foreign. So, even though the nervous anticipation of this being their first date was zinging through Chorong’s body, the situation was grounding enough that she was able to hold onto some of her sanity.

“Who else knows you like girls?” Chorong asked after the waitress had taken their order. “Or...you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want.”

Eunji waved her worry off. “It’s fine. My best friend from home knows, and my mom knows. Nam Joo knows, and I think some of the other girls in the house have an idea.”

“Joy does,” Chorong confirmed with a nod. “She told me you were bi when she chewed me out for dating Minho when I obviously liked you.”

Eunji laughed. “She would. Plus, I think she’s more sensitive to stuff like that since she’s so close with Irene.”

“You know Irene has a girlfriend?” Chorong exclaimed, surprised. How had she missed it?

“Yeah, I saw a picture of them together on her phone by accident. Though she wasn’t horrified that I’d found out, or anything.”

Chorong felt like her eyes had been opened to a whole new reality now that she'd stopped lying to herself.

She’d felt so alone, trying to hide her sexuality all these years. It had felt like she was the only one who wasn’t straight. But straight didn’t mean normal, and gay wasn’t synonymous with weird. There were plenty of people who liked boys, plenty who liked girls, plenty who liked both, and plenty who weren’t really interested in either. Nothing was _normal_. Or maybe, everything was.

It was so much less lonely, knowing that.

“When did you realize you liked girls, too?” Chorong asked. She’d been living in her own little bubble of denial and repression for so long that she was curious if Eunji had gone through something similar. Though, she imagined it had to be different since Eunji wouldn’t have had that realization that she wasn’t interested in men to help fuel her realization.

“High school is when I consciously realized it,” Eunji said, drumming her fingers against the tabletop in thought. “I’d think certain girls were really pretty, and while my friends were complaining about other girls and feeling like they were in competition with them, I was just kind of in awe and wanting to get closer to the girls, too.”

“So have you dated a girl before?” Chorong wondered, feeling a tiny flare of jealousy at the idea of Eunji being with a girl besides her. Though she felt that same discomfort when she remembered Eunji with her boyfriend the year prior.

“Dated...not dated,” Eunji told her. “I fooled around with a girl a bit my freshman year here. And I kissed a few friends in high school during games of truth or dare. I guess enjoying those dares was another indication that I liked girls. But actually dated...no.”

Chorong couldn’t help but think about what _fooling around_ might have included. She, herself, had absolutely no experience when it came to girls, so she was a bit worried about being disappointingly inexperienced, but it wasn’t as though Eunji was unaware that she’d _just_ come out. She had to know that Chorong wasn’t some seasoned, lesbian sex goddess.

“I haven’t done any of those things,” Chorong needlessly informed her. “The only girl I’ve kissed is you.”

Eunji grinned, looking a bit too proud of herself, so Chorong held up her hand in a fist like she might start throwing punches.

Laughing, Eunji trapped Chorong’s ankles between hers under the table. Maybe it was to keep her from kicking, or maybe it was just an excuse for contact. But either way, it sent warmth all the way up her legs and through her chest.

“Wanna know when I realized that I had it bad for you?” Eunji asked, apparently wanting to make up for gloating.

Chorong flushed at the idea of Eunji having a crush on her, which was ridiculous considering they were on a date. She nodded.

“It was during rush last year,” Eunji started, and Chorong’s eyes widened. That was over a year and a half ago! “It had nothing to do with rush, actually. It was when you and Bomi were making cute faces and taking pictures of yourself. I was pretending to gag, and you asked me if I wanted to get hit. Then you pointed the camera at me and made me do a cute pose, too.”

“ _That’s_ what made you like me?” Chorong laughed in disbelief.

“That’s what made me _realize_ I liked you,” Eunji corrected, smiling at Chorong’s confusion. “And for the record, I already thought you were gorgeous before that. That was just when I realized my crush on you was more than just a fleeting thing.”

“Do you want me to hit you or something?” Chorong asked incredulously, amused as she was perplexed and a little embarrassed.

“No,” Eunji chuckled, teasingly grabbing Chorong’s wrist like she’d actually try. “You threatening to hit me in your sweet voice was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I just wanted to cuddle you and kiss you and keep you in my pocket.”

“Now I might actually hit you,” Chorong joked, narrowing her eyes exaggeratedly.

Eunji let go of Chorong’s wrist to hold her hands up in surrender. “I know you could legitimately beat me up,” she said. “But I know you wouldn’t really, and the fact that you were threatening to anyway was just adorable, okay? Please don’t kick my ass.”

Chorong cackled, reaching across the table to hold onto Eunji’s hand. She was feeling so _fond_ all of the sudden, and she wished that they weren’t at a restaurant so she could tackle Eunji in a hug and then snuggle with her until she’d had her fill.

Chorong would have kept a hold on Eunji’s hand, but their food arrived and trying to eat a sandwich with one hand wasn’t really practical.

Besides, they’d have plenty of time for hand holding in the future.

The fact that she was with Eunji was starting to sink in.

And even better than that, Chorong finally was starting to feel comfortable in her own skin.

 

\---

 

_“I can’t find the book I need,” Chorong complained, collapsing in her chair at the table she and Eunji had staked out in the library to work on the final papers they had to write for various classes._

_“Did you check online to see if it was checked out?” Eunji asked, looking up from one of the many books she had spread out in front of her._

_Chorong nodded. “It said it was here.”_

_“Maybe it’s being reshelved. Or someone put it back in the wrong place,” Eunji suggested. “Here, you go look around near where it’s supposed to be, and I’ll go look on that cart over there at the end of the aisle.”_

_“You don’t have to do that,” Chorong assured her, sitting up from where she was slumped over. She was perhaps being a tad dramatic. “You’ve got your own work to do.”_

_“Exactly,” Eunji replied with a grin, snatching the scrap of paper with the call number written on it out of Chorong’s hand. “I would love an excuse to put it off for another few minutes.”_

_Chorong tsked, but didn’t argue- getting up to do as Eunji had directed her to. She tended to be a pretty take charge person, despite her small stature and gentle voice, but somehow she often ended up following Eunji’s lead when she was with her. Even stranger was that she kind of enjoyed it. It was nice not to have to be the one calling the shots all the time._

_“Still no luck?” Eunji asked, joining her in the aisle where the book was meant to be after a few minutes. “I didn’t see it on the cart.”_

_“No, I looked through all these shelves,” Chorong told her with a sigh, gesturing to the area she’d covered since they’d split up to look. “It’s supposed to be right here-”_

_Chorong snapped her mouth shut as her finger landed right on the spine of the book she was after._

_“Is that it?” Eunji asked excitedly, leaning over her shoulder to see. “Where- isn’t that exactly where it’s supposed to be?”_

_Chorong nodded sheepishly, pulling the book off the shelf and feeling stupid._

_“Didn’t you look here first?” Eunji laughed, looking far too entertained by Chorong’s mistake. Though at least she didn’t seem mad that she’d just wasted five minutes looking for a book that was precisely where it was supposed to be._

_“I-” Chorong frowned at the shelf, like it had played a trick on her. “I did! I swear!”_

_Eunji continued to laugh, and Chorong could feel herself pouting._

_“Aw,” Eunji cooed, reaching out to poke her in the cheek._

_Chorong narrowed her eyes and snapped her teeth like she was going to bite Eunji’s fingers, which just made Eunji laugh even more._

_“We should probably get back to work,” Eunji finally said, putting her hands on Chorong’s shoulders to steer her back toward their table. “Thanks for the distraction though.”_

_“Yeah, yeah,” Chorong grumbled even as she let Eunji push her over to her chair. “Thanks for...helping me look for this.”_

_Eunji chuckled. “Anytime. Though I didn’t actually do much.”_

_In a good mood despite the fact that she was about to start writing a paper on a subject she had no interest in, Chorong begged to differ._

 

\---

 

“Let’s see...we need two sticks of butter and two eggs,” Chorong read off the recipe in front of her, looking up as Eunji grabbed the ingredients from the fridge. “Oh, but we should have gotten the butter out earlier. It’s supposed to be room temperature when we mix it.”

“We can set them in the sun while we measure everything else out, and then if they’re still too cold, we can zap them in the microwave for a couple seconds,” Eunji suggested.

“Good plan,” Chorong grinned, accepting the kiss from Eunji as she passed by to set the butter in the sunbeam falling on the kitchen table.

“Some of us are single and resent your cuteness,” Nam Joo complained, wandering into the kitchen to poke around and see what they were making.

“Stop your griping unless you don’t want any cookies,” Chorong threatened, pointing at her with an unused wooden spoon.

Nam Joo quickly schooled her face into a smile, and Eunji laughed.

Chorong had initially been wary about everyone finding out about their relationship since she didn’t know how they’d all react, but it had ended up not being as scary as she’d thought.

Immediately after returning home from her first date with Eunji, Chorong had told Bomi that the two of them were dating. Bomi’s face as she pieced everything together was like she was solving a scientific mystery. She’d been supportive right away, and Chorong had felt a bit better about not knowing that Eunji was bi previously because Bomi hadn’t either. At least she wasn’t the only one slow on the uptake.

Eunji ended up telling Nam Joo since they were roommates and she would have found out sooner or later. Evidently, she’d figured out that Eunji had feelings for Chorong ages ago, so she’d been really happy for them, as well as relieved that Eunji would no longer be pining. (Eunji continued to insist that she’d kept the pining to a minimum.)

In the grand tradition of Joy being in the right place at the right time, she found out about the two of them when she passed by them sharing a quick kiss before Chorong left for class.

“Thank fuck,” had been her response, followed by, “I told you so.”

Irene figured it out without anyone having to tell her and without walking in on them kissing. She’d ended up pulling Chorong aside to tell her how cute she thought the two of them were, and Chorong had stuttered through an embarrassed and pleased _thank you_.

Since the girls all found out gradually, it wasn’t overwhelming. Chorong had pictured everyone finding out at once and staring at her judgmentally as she came down to breakfast one day, but that never happened.

Some of the younger girls who didn’t know them as well were a little confused and surprised, but no one was outright horrified, which had Chorong breathing a huge sigh of relief. She knew that there were people out there who would absolutely disapprove of her and Eunji’s relationship, but knowing that none of her sorority sisters were vehemently against it was more than she’d even hoped for.

Eunji’s chin dug into Chorong’s shoulder as she measured out the flour into the mixing bowl, her arms wrapped securely around her waist.

“Ew, PDA,” Hayoung teased, taking a seat at the table to watch the progress of the cookies.

Eunji stuck her tongue out and Chorong threatened with a whisk.

“What kind of cookies are you making?” she asked, obviously much more concerned about baked goods than about Eunji and Chorong’s relationship.

“Chocolate chip,” Eunji told her as Chorong put the bag of flour away.

“I want some!” Seungyeon announced, coming in after class.

“I should get the most because I _selflessly_ stayed with Nam Joo last night,” Bomi said, sitting down at the island next to Nam Joo.

Seungyeon and Hayoung both wolf whistled.

“Or maybe you’ll get none for being tactless,” Chorong threatened, cheeks hot, as Eunji just laughed.

Bomi pouted at her until she promised that she wouldn’t _really_ withhold cookies.

Just as they’d discussed, she and Eunji didn’t move too fast at the beginning of their relationship. Chorong took the time she needed to process everything and fully comprehend the fact that, _yes_ , she really was dating Eunji, and _yes_ , this was everything she’d always wanted but been too afraid to go after.

But as the weeks wore on and the kisses lingered longer and longer, Chorong’s want began to overshadow her fear of taking their relationship to that next level.

Of course she was worried that her inexperience would disappoint Eunji, but there was a part of her that wondered if sex with a woman would be everything she’d hoped for. She’d already gone through the motions with men, and though kissing Eunji lit a fire in her that she’d never felt with boyfriends in the past, she still was a little concerned that she was going to be let down.

That fear was quickly assuaged the first time she let Eunji’s finger slip past the waistband of her underwear. For the first time, she was in the moment instead of leaving herself and pretending to be someone else. There was no where and no one else she’d rather be as she took in how it felt to have Eunji’s fingers on her and the way Eunji’s voice sounded in her ear. And getting to return the favor and watch how her touches had Eunji gasping out her name made her ache with want anew.

It was somewhat difficult to find alone time in a house full of girls, but they did what they could. And Bomi and Nam Joo had been very understanding roommates, even if they liked to tease whenever possible.

“Are you baking?” Na Eun asked, wandering into the kitchen to join the growing group of cookie admirers.

“Do you guys all come when you hear the sound of the electric mixer?” Chorong wondered, blocking Bomi from sticking a finger in the batter.

“I heard the beep that the oven is preheated,” Joy said, and when had she even come in?

“Do we have enough ingredients to make another batch?” Chorong asked, turning to Eunji. At the rate the girls were accumulating, she didn’t know if she and Eunji would get to eat any of their own cookies.

“Yeah, we should,” Eunji confirmed, looking into the fridge at the eggs they had left.

“Okay, you can all have cookies, but get out of here while we’re baking,” Chorong announced, making shooing motions with her hands. “I feel like I’m being swarmed by pesky bugs.”

She got a few grumbles, and Bomi sticking her tongue out, but the girls all started migrating out of the kitchen.

“If you wanted to be alone to makeout, you should have just said so,” Nam Joo said, dodging a dishtowel to the butt just barely.

“Guess we’re making a second batch,” Chorong observed when the kitchen had finally been vacated.

“I’ll start measuring the ingredients,” Eunji volunteered, walking toward the pantry.

But Chorong grabbed her on the way past and pulled her in. Months after their very first kiss and weeks after they’d started dating, and Chorong still felt her heart jump into her throat every time they kissed.

“Did you really just want to makeout?” Eunji teased. “Because I’m good with that. I don’t need cookies that badly.”

Chorong sighed with a shake of her head, but still indulged in another press of lips.

Before she’d admitted to herself that she was gay, coming out had seemed like the scariest thing in the world. Now, the idea that she could have continued to live a lie and never given herself a chance to be truly happy was what scared her.

With Eunji’s smile blinding her, Chorong had never been happier.

**Author's Note:**

> \- Don't have EunRong feels yet? Join me in my [shipping](http://g-odalisque13.tumblr.com/tagged/eunrong).  
> \- Thank you to everyone who pitched in with an idea! I thought it would be cool to ask a handful of friends for prompts for the flashbacks, so that there would be little titdbits from friends throughout the story. Specifically, thank you to Jen, Alicia, Eva, and especially Ash. All of the thanks to Ash for being my cheerleader, sounding board, official prompt person thing, and basically the mascot of this fic. Your excitement kept me motivated and helped to give me the push to write this in 2 weeks! <333  
> \- Thank you so much for reading! <3 Comments would be greatly appreciated!  
> \- Follow me on [tumblr](http://g-odalisque13.tumblr.com/) if you are so inclined ^^


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